Trying to Take Contol

"It's Astounding, Time is Fleeting, Madness takes control, but listen closely, not for very much longer.. I've got to... keep control ".------ Rocky Horror Picture Show

You wouldn't think that those would be the words to describe my life right now, but they OH SO very much are. I like to think that my life is very controlled and it is. I've taken hold of some situations and I'm working on my self improvement as I have posted about previously. HOWEVER no matter how much control I take of my life and no matter how much try to declutter, I can't control other peoples lives. There are a few people in my life right now that I feel that if they would just LISTEN to me, Take my ADVICE, and do what I say it would make thier lives SO MUCH EASIER, not just Easier, BETTER. But naturally I guess life doesn't work that way. And I sit here and I get angry and upset and then fume over it. BUT then I need to realize that it's so much easier to tell OTHER people what to do in thier life than it is to take advice from people. Like me. I'm not happy in my job. Sure its a great steady income and being 23 and having that in this economy I am very lucky. But so I've been super wishy washy about getting another job, or going back to school, or getting a different kind of job. I feel as though my days are on repeat. I do the EXACT same thing EVERYDAY. and that would be awesome if I enjoyed it. but I don't.
I wake up at 6:30, get dressed for work. leave by 7, get to work by 8, sit there ALL day by myself, pinterest, blog, read, add in a bit of answering phones, listen to the Same clients tell the SAME jokes, (inster courtesy laugh) go to lunch around 1:15.. either sleep in car, eat JimmyJohns, or read. come back to work. Sort mail. deliver mail, pinterest, blog, close everything up. clock out leave at 5:00 get home at 6:00, either Rachel made food or I go out to get something. watch TV. REPEAT.
HOW FREAKIN BORING AM I?! I mean really?! So when people as me how I am... I say.. oh good, the same, I work, yup still in AZ.... blah blah blah... I need to spice up my freakin life!!! and yet... I really have no clue how to do that....SIGH. I mean... I've thought about going back to school but sheesh.. I hate student loans...... like REALLY hate them.... my mom has suggested just taking one or two classes a semester but even then they would have to be online and those are still mucho mucho amounts of money's..... Oh my life.. REPEAT. I'm trying to pray about how to give me some drive.... I'm really losing my umph. I suppose i'll find it soon. So any suggestions would be helpful.. I mean .. I guess I have my whole life to pay off student loans...... So here is where I am asking someone else to tell me what to do with my life?! FIX ME! I'm BROKEN! : P

After-Hours Work Party's.

I officially have a rant. Today's Rant is about Work parties... So far I have successfully not gone to a single after-hours work party. And here are my reasons why:

#1 Awkward Social Gatherings give me ANXIETY. I am not the most outgoing social person. Sure I like to talk to people and have fun.. ONCE I GET TO KNOW THEM. And maybe I would be able to have a better time if I actually worked with these people.. but no, I sit at my center ALL DAY by myself.. I am the only one there aside form the clients. So yes that's my Number 1 reason is pure SOCIAL ANXIETY.

#2 Even if I DID see these people ALL DAY at work, WHY would I want to stay AFTER work even LONGER, and then have an HOUR long drive home??? WHY would that be appealing? (it's not)

#3 It's just not appealing to me. After work I want to go home. and sit. and eat. and watch TV. Read. and NOT socialize and pretend laugh at peoples jokes because I do enough of that during the day. sigh.

ANYWAYS, Needless to say I was NOT successful in diverting this time. I was caught like a Bunny in a Bear Trap... Alas I shall go. Bring on the Anxiety, bring on the fake laugh. Corporate Robot Aubry is on her way.

***** This post makes it sound like I don't like anyone I work with which is untrue. I enjoy the people that I closely work with. They are all really nice and it won't be as HORRIBLE of a time as I am making it out to be... just an uncomfortable time.

~~~~ I never published this rant for fear of the Corporate world. HOWEVER I ended up going. and didn't have as bad of a time as I thought I would. It was fine :) HAHA

My Dad better 'Sprint' to get this DEAL!!!

This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of Sprint for SocialSpark. All opinions are 100% mine.

So My little Sister uses Sprint as her cell phone Carrier and she has been begging my dad nonstop for a  NEW Cell Phone this Christmas... So as usual I'm stuck with advising my dad on what my little sister would like and which is better and what do I run into? Lo and Behold! a 3-Day Sale by Sprint!

They have more great Holiday deals on Android powered EVO 4G OR the EVO Shift devces during this 3-Day Sale! You can get it FREE only from here!

Android™ powered EVO 4G devices

Plus for NEW lines of service get FREE SHIPPING and WAIVED activation fees ONLY from SPRINT!

Needless to say that in this Holiday season and Gift Giving season I know that my parents a a whole lot more people could really use these sales and it's always important to alert people of AWESOME deals especially when they are as wonderful as this! I know that everyone is always happy to receive a new phone! I personally find great joy in figuring out how a new phone works and all the awesome accessories and apps available to each phone! What can I say? I LOVE technology! :)

THE CONQUERING HERO RETURNS!

(WARNING: I'm NOT trying to be PREACHY!!! this is just how I feel)

I've been Praying A LOT lately. Way more than I have in the past 5 years. These past 5 years have been the best and worst times of my life. Although I'm SURE there are more 'Worsts' coming along because as we all know life only gets harder with more trials, I feel that I have conquered a few REALLY big Trials. I wouldn't Say CONQUERED I guess, but At least put aside a few issues in my life. As I'm sure it was apparent I haven't always been doing what I know to be right. Oh sure as "tricky" and "sneaky" as I thought I was being, people always know. And they did. But the people in my life that I was "hiding" these things from knew all along that all they could do was love me. And love me they did. My Mom especially and looking back on it now I can see how much the things I was doing hurt her, not physically and not her PERSONALLY, but you know, she's my mom and THUS everything I chose to do DOES cause a reaction from her. I'm sure for many days, nights, and hours she would sit and think and pray about us. I know she did her best and that none of my choices reflect on her because I know that she taught me better. (She knew it too : P) I have always known that the trials I was going through were temporary. But what happens when Temporary becomes Normal and you lose sight of what you thought was right, and thought was wrong, and then you forget completely what you know and what you don't know and then you just get lost in ALL the GRAY in this world?! I got really close to that point a while back. I got to a point where I was rationalizing everything and creating excuses and making up lies to myself trying to shut my conscious up. I kept telling it that "I'm Happy!, I'm FUN! I'm so carefree! I don't have anyone telling me what to do! I'm independent!"  All of which were lies. In the coming months I began to become a very different person. I was angry.. A LOT. I was completely irritable and would get mad and offended over the silliest things. Then I started to feel that even my closest friends were against me. I started to rationalize and pretend I was always right. My self-esteem was SHOT and I thought that the only time I was "FUN" was when I was making the wrong choices. Then one GLORIOUS day My Bishop called me in. It was just the routine yearly talk, and it went really well he got to know about me and my family, how much I loved my mom and the trials that our family has gone through.... One thing led to another and after that meeting my life was changed. FOREVER. I had never felt so relieved in my entire life. I felt like POSITIVE and UPLIFTED for the first time in almost 4 years. It was a great feeling. Since that day I have been doing everything in my power to remember what I KNOW to be true and to grow from everything. Now lets not get confused and think that Aubry is all of a sudden perfect because that would be a HORRIBLE LIE! I still Curse OCCASIONALLY though I am trying to limit that to the basics (you know D,H,S,B, A), I still am sarcastic and I'm still randomly a total BWITCH! In short I'm still me. For a while I was trying to get back to "Who I was in High School" but I came to realization that I can Never and SHOULD never be that girl again. Sure she was great! But she didn't go through ANY of the trials I've been through thus she had never really had her testimony tested. I am happy to say that My testimony HAS been tried and it is MUCH stronger than High School Aubry's was. She was Great. But The Aubry Now, ME, I'm stronger. :) ANYWAYS

That sounds kinda Preachy and I'm not meaning for it to be I just wanted to express How happy I am and I'm excited for the life I have ahead of me!  and since there are more "Worsts" to come I'm super excited for the even better "BESTS" that are headed my way... :)

P.S. My Best friend since the 5th grade is getting Married this weekend, AND I'm going to Vegas! :) JOY! MORE PICS TO COME!!!! hee hee heee

P.S.S. I tried to find a picture of a Female Conqueror..... THAT WAS A TERRIBLE THING TO LOOK UP WHILE AT WORK! Just SAYING! (thus the picture has NOTHING to do with the post LOL)

New Sweater!

You may be wondering why I have decided to write an entire blog.. about a Sweater.....
Well Let me tell you I love sweaters.. I love HOODIES more.. WAY more but I found a sweater that takes the cake of all sweaters I've ever had....... but first let me explain my sweater obsession.

I get cold... and when I get cold I stay cold for a very long time. As I have mentioned before I grew up in a town that gets pretty stinking cold during the winter... but I don't get cold just during the winter oh no, I get cold through the summer and such. (that's why I live in AZ LOL) So back in high school I wore a gray sweater to school EVERY DAY. This is not an exaggeration. Partly because I was a very shy quiet person (unless you knew me) I would try and not wear a sweater but then I would shake and shiver ALL DAY at school... so in my young age I decided it was just better to cover up... because I was a cheerleader I had a cheer hoodie.... and I wore that thing until it was practically a T-shirt... True story there are pics in the yearbook with me and my sweater (hair in ponytail... but that's another story for another post) Anyways ... FINALLY around my junior year of high school I discovered that I DID care what I was wearring and that there were much cuter jackets that I could be wearing... SHOCKING I know....so anyways I've still always been obsessed with hoodies or sweaters or anything warm.....I have been wearing the same 2 jackets from Hollister for about 2 years (lets face it they make the best sweaters) THEN..... Rachel and I were walking around Wal-Mart and we saw a whole section dedicated to all things Coca-Cola !!!! Naturally, COKE being my favorite thing next to Audrey Hepburn, and tied equally to Barbie, WE RUSHED OVER (or should I say I rushed over) started to look, they had the usual mugs, Christmas shaped Coke bottles, the Vintage glass bottles, t-shirts.. and then I saw it.... It was GRAY, It was SOFT, It was COKE, and it was a SWEATER!!!!!! naturally, I started searching for my size.... Alas they only had MEN sizes... and the smallest they had was Medium..... I made an executive decision... said WHAT THE HECK and bought it! (It was only like 12 dollars) then... once we got home... I put it on.. HEAVEN I'm in HEAVEN! I seriously LOVE it! I have slept in it for about a week and I've put it on every night after I get home. Its almost weird... not yet though..... the second I start wearing it under my work jackets will when it becomes a problem... So yes.. I am able to write an entire fully enthusiastic blog post about a simple Sweater.... But seriously... what could be better?! ITS LIKE THIS... BUT GRAY with RED Writing! :) JOY!!!!!!

I LOVE A GOOD SWEATER!

Umm.... I wish I was rich, lived in an alternate world, and different time...

SO Rachel and I have been on a series watching kick... we had no shows to watch on Monday night... THUS we started to watch GOSSIP GIRL from the 1st season on Netflicks..... and oh boy are we hooked!!!! We have watched about 4 episodes a night and simply can't get enough.... in one of last nights episode these "Wealthy, Upper East Siders of New York" threw a ball... a MASQUERADE BALL... basically Rach and I started to discuss how fun it would be to go to a Masked ball!!!... I told her we should throw one... she simply laughed... then I thought of 3 very valid reasons why we CAN'T...
#1 We don't have enough friends... NOT we don't have ANY friends.. we don't have ENOUGH friends.... we would never be able to throw a ball because we don't know anyone...
#2..... People here.. would think its VERY DUMB..... bunch of joy-kills...
#3  We just happen to be Poor....
YUP that pretty much sums it up. So anyways this is another one of those times when I wish I was an aristocrat in Paris during the times of Marie Antoinette, OR a courtier in the days of the Tudors.... Course I'd rather not lose my head and since they were very fond of that in BOTH of those Era's I guess I'll just settle for the days of showering everyday, Ipods, equal rights, and all that BORING stuff  : P

BUT doesn't this look so fun?!!! Would YOU come to my Ball?! LOL

IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR!!

Okay Folks, it's OFFICIALLY CHRISTMAS TIME! It's December 1st. Meaning I can talk about Christmas as much as I want! Although I've been talking about it and singing songs for weeks now I can scream it at the top of my lungs! "IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME" --- it may or may not sound like Jack Skellington form Nightmare before Christmas.... a lil deranged and psychotic.. but that's just how much I LOVE Christmas!!! :) and what better way is there to kick off the Christmas season than by putting up Christmas lights and THEN..... THE NUTCRACKER BALLET!!! That's right folks! I bought Rachel and I tickets to THE NUTCRACKER.. I'm so excited I can't even stand it! My family used to go to the one in Albuquerque a lot when I was younger, I always loved it! Such beautiful music combined with beautiful dancing!! EVEN THOUGH I severely over payed for these tickets that were a random impulse buy, and Even though I'm not expecting it to be anything like the Moscow ballet (In my dreams LOL) I'm still really excited and can't wait!! So excited!!!

ANYWAYS.. Yes, I'm very very excited for the Christmas season... (Not the HOLIDAY season : P)

I basically can't WAIT to go home!! Although once again this year is the year that my Little Big Sister Lisette gets to go with her in laws for Christmas.... BOO!!!!!!  : P it's absolutely depressing!!! practically a TRAGEDY!! what an I supposed to do without her? Christmas just doesn't feel like Christmas without ALL my family.  I hope someday that we will be able to live closer and see each other more. I started to realize that I pretty much only see my sister a few times a year and I really want that change. THUS I've decided that She and her husband need to move closer to the equator hahahahaha I am not moving any further north than the top border of AZ/NM haha

Also Christmas Time means its getting time to decide what song Stevie and I should do our annual Christmas dance to... hmm so many options.. I think she is pushing for Beiber.... alas it is supposed to be a silly dance.. If anybody knows of an upbeat silly Christmas song that we can dance to let me know!: P

Well anyways I LOVE CHRISTMAS--- I LOVE THE NUTCRACKER---I LOVE CHRIST! and let me just leave you off with a quote :)

President Thomas S. Monson has said: “For a few moments, may we set aside the catalogs of Christmas, with their gifts of exotic description. Let’s even turn from the flowers for Mother, the special tie for Father, the cute doll, the train that whistles, the long-awaited bicycle—even the books and videos—and direct our thoughts to God-given gifts that endure.”

^{AND THIS!!}

“For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace” Isaiah 9:6

LOOK HOW FUN!

This is something that My mom would think is the CUTEST IDEA EVER!!! AND secretly I'd agree. How fun to create a cook book of all your families favorite recipes?! Neat right?!

SO FUN!

Yup... It's One of THOSE day's.

You just have to love her. She Knows. Haha
It's one of those day's that I really miss Home. Not just the house, or my family. Home itself. I miss how I feel when I'm back home in Farmington. The feeling that it never really changes too much and its FULL absolutely FULL of memories. I lived in Farmington for 18 years of my life. I had the best childhood with the best friends and cousins. I loved my high school and had more fun than you are supposed to. It's also around this time of year that I miss being in choir, Christmas music actually makes me kinda sad because I remember all the wonderful Christmas Concerts my choir gave. I miss life when it was simple and I knew that Thanksgiving meant that all of us cousins and family would get to have dinner together. I knew that I would get to see everyone like I always did. Now I'm lucky if I get to see some of my family once or twice a year. And It's not any ones fault. Things change, life happens, we all move away. I guess I am feeling that I took ALL my family for granted because they were so close and always accessible. But now I'm lucky if I get to see my own sister once or twice a year and my cousins even less. The Holidays make me very sad. I love ALL of my family so much and I wish we would all stay in contact better. I'm just as guilty and I know its a 2-way street. I just miss my ENTIRE Family During the Holidays.
ON A HAPPIER NOTE!

I'm So excited to be seeing my Older sister for Thanksgiving! I can't hardly wait. I really wish she and I were closer together(distance-wise) She is someone that I have always looked up to. And I have missed her a lot recently. Can't wait! :)

Halloween!!

So I was looking at my Costumes choices of the past 4 years and I must say I've had some pretty fun Halloweens!!! Lets Start with the year 2007.... WOW forever ago!

Anyways I was basically the coolest thing EVER!!.... BOB THE BUILDER! Can we Fix it?! BOB THE BUILDER! YES WE CAN! :) Super fun.. this was my 2nd semester at EAC and I actually made friends and did something! :)

Then the year 2008---- I got into the whole " Its the one time a year a girl can dress like a slut and get away with it" thing :P jk Mine wasn't TOO bad! :) I'm a SAILOR!! wooo hoo!! this year was super fun! By this time I had lots of friends and LOTS of FUN! :)

Then came 2009....... I was still in Farmington during this time because this was the year my got sick and all that jazz. THUS... For the ward halloween party I was just a AZ Sun's Fan... but for some kooky Family party... I was a all the random stuff I could find in my closet thrown into a futuristic outfit.. lookin... thing.. :)

Then last year(2010) as previously reported we went to VEGAS for Halloween! We went to a Rachel's Families party and then the FRIGHT DOME... which I can tell you was probably the scariest thing I've ever seen... like seriously! I was a Warrior Princess I guess hahaha anyways it was FUN!

Then Came the year 2011 which Has personally been my favorite costume and EASILY outdoes ALL other Costumes!! :)......GARTH.. From WAYNES WORLD.... WHY YES MY BESTIE RACHEL WAS WAYNE!!! PARTY ON!

BASICALLY HALLOWEEN IS FUN!

and I'm going to have to think EXTRA hard to top this year. :)

Its getting CHILLY!

I grew up in Northern New Mexico. We get snow all the time in the Winter. Growing up I was totally used to the snow and cold, so much that I used to walk to the bus stop in flip flops in December when it was freezing and there was snow on the ground. I would have to go out and start my car in the morning to defrost my windshield (Or my Daddy would hee hee) and when worse came to worst I would have to scratch the ice off. Now I'm sure you're all wondering where this is going. I'll tell you where.

I have lived in AZ for the past 5 years. I used to go home for the summers and winters so I wasn't too much of a baby... Things have changed. I officially live full time in AZ and am working on getting all my stuff changed to AZ. Going home now is TORTURE! I have no idea how I ever, EVER even thought about walking in snow in flip flops?! what was wrong with me?! haha I have become totally and 100% acclimated to AZ weather. And Although I LOVE the snow and Its fun to play in. I HATE being cold! I would rather be sweating and melting than to be freezing with cold toes and a runny nose. You may be wondering where this is coming from. WELL.....  THIS YEAR My sister and Bro-In-Law both work Retail.. thus for thanksgiving they both are REQUIRED to work black Friday.. THUS they can't come home for Thanksgiving, THUS we are going to them.. where you may be asking is "there" ... Hold on to your hats my fellow AZ heat seekers... WELLINGTON UTAH..... Yup Not only am I headed up to the FREEZING COLD! I'm going to WELLINGTON. I can say that I've never been there and maybe I have PREJUDGMENTS.. But If its smaller than MY HOMETOWN.... it's SMALL... there will literally be nothing to do there! AND my sister has to work both the Friday and Saturday.... what the heck am I supposed to do? I plan on staying in my pajamas and crafting and sewing all day with me mum. NOW don't get me wrong I am SUPER DUPER excited to see my sisters new house and see all the cute decorations she has done and all that fun stuff... I'm just not looking forward to the cold.. NOPE not at all. BUT that's okay because I LOVE HER! and its not her fault... Its her HUSBANDS fault... :P jk ANYWAYS I'm going to be searching through my closet for anything that constitutes as "Winter Clothing" SIGH!

This will be me.

Pinterest

I used to spend hours on Blogspot. Like I seriously sat and read every cute little blog with creative DIY crafts that I love.---- THEN CAME PINTEREST. I know I'm a little behind because its been around and I just barely joined last week. BUT in one week I have become a full blown ADDICT. It's become a problem because I don't even want to look at other blogs. And worst of all.
I.am.a.failure.
Pinterest has lowered my self esteem. I sit there and I look at how cute and how creative everybody else in the world is and sure it gives me cute ideas... but then I remember that I:
A: Work too much
B: Watch TV too much
C: Am too Lazy
and
D: Am not talented enough

To do all these wonderful crafts. Granted I work an 8-5 job which is an hour away so TECHNICALLY its an 6:50am- 6:00pm job... then by the time I eat and chill for a bit.... it gets to be around 9 and then Around 9 I get extremely lazy and want to do absolutely nothing.
I've decided its a serious disease and I travel so much that Saturdays aren't really an option.

I want to be crafty. Why can't I just push a crafty button and WHAMMY. Become one of all the other amazing Super Crafty Mormon Girls?!

I'll tell you why. Because when my mom was pregnant with my older sister, my older sister decided to suck out all of my moms craftiness. (My mom is like super crafty creative) My Sister stole all of my moms craftiness and what was left went to my younger sister. I have the craftiness of my father. (When he taught a primary lesson all the little kids laughed at his stick figures... True story)

So I blame my older sister for my lack of Craftiness... Greedy little Demon.
LOOK A PYGMY GOAT!!! :)

The Stings of being an Adult...

I'm going home this weekend to visit my family. I am SO excited! I haven't been home in almost 2 months. Thats a really long time for me!!! As I am talking to my mom today she is telling me that someone will be staying at my house this weekend. (Long Story Short: She is a new lady that works with my dad and hasn't found a place to live yet so she stays with us on the weekends that she works.... I'm convinced that this is a very strange thing and needs to be corrected immediately.. apparently my parents think its normal... weirdo's.) ANYWAYS I causually asked which room she was going to be staying in.... and all of a sudden my mother tell me of all these GRAND things she has done to my house. (yes, MY house) She moved all of my older sisters old furniture into my little sisters old room and made it into a guest room and turned my older sisters room into a "sewing room" BAH! So through most of all my mothers house changing things my room has usually gone untouched. Yes, Stevie was gone less than a month and my mom had the entire room re-done and everything.. muahahah but me I've been gone for almost 5 years now and my room has not been disturbed. You may be wondering why, well in order for me to tell you I shall have to go back in time a little bit... PICTURE THIS:

I am a quirky, spaztic, hyper little 12ish year old girl and I want to re-do my room... PINK! HOT PINK! and me being the rather "convincing" thing I am.. I get to do it.. so my room is light pink on top and HOT PINK on bottom... its beautiful if you can imagine ;) anyways my mother is a huge barbie collector. Her ENTIRE top of her closet is full of barbies, and so is all me and my sisters closets. This works because my room has always been "The Barbie room" thus it usually was untouched and yes it is still pink and everything. I love going home and looking at my room. It pretty much looks the exact same way it did in High school minus the fact that there is now a beat up old treadmill and a few things that dont belong me. ALL my prom and homecoming dresses are in the closet along with my sisters, my old easy bake oven, and pictures and memories GALORE! I refused to let my mother throw my stuff away without me being there becuase "IT ALL HAS MEANING!" or so I like to think. Yes, I even have my corsages from highschool. My room is a shrine to everything that I miss about life, the simplicity. all the different things I used to do in my room while I was by myself, pretend like I was a secretary at my desk, spend entire summers reading or play "The Sims" (there's just something about being able to control other peoples lives) Sometimes I would get so caught up in my room during the summer my mother wouldn't see me unless I was getting food out of the kitchen, So anyways back to the point of this post. THEN CAME HORROR!

I can't stay in my own room this weekend becuase it doesn't have a DAMN BED!? No bed?! where in the crap am I supposed to stay? Then she tells me that she moved the bed into the "sewing" room. WHY?! there is not reason for that! I told her I insist that she move it back into my room and she dared to laugh at me and say "yeah, me and my nubbies will get right on that" I told her "oh sure, make me feel bad because YOU have NO LEGS!" ahah rude!! (this is a common fight and I always tell her she can't use that as an excuse its just not healthy : P) So anyways I've finally felt the sting of being an adult and realizing that I will NEVER move back home, and that my room is no longer MY ROOM it is NOW and soon to be my mothers barbie room and I won't get to sleep there anymore! What kind of heartless mother rips out someones entire childhood with one gesture such as pointlessly removing a bed? I'll tell you who. MINE! Anyways don't ask me why I'm so upset about this. Maybe its becuase my parents have also made side comments about moving and I basically will have a heart attack if they EVER move out of MY house! I don't want to come visit them in some random house I want to visit them in MY house. SHEESH! is it too much to ask for them to just stay put and be satisfied?! anyways my house is gorgeous! SEE ABOVE!!!(My rooms the one with the three windows) :) :) :) Can't wait to go home, EVEN IF I CAN'T SLEEP IN MY ROOM! RUDE!

Too Much...

I complain too much. I've realized this and I decided that I make it sound like I don't have amazing things going on in my life. So here are the AMAZING things!!! :)

Amazing thing Number 1

I have an AMAZING FAMILY! like absolutely amazing! I talk to my mom about 3 times a day usually and basically I just talk to her about myself, and she tells me about herself. We are fully informed in each others lives. Its a great feeling to know that anytime I need to call and complain about anything my mom is always going to be there to let me vent. (however she's no fun because once she throws in her life issues mine seem like nothing : P) My Dad is basically the most amazing man ever and I will never meet anyone as patient and  level headed as him! My older sister is a Saint. Enough said. She can do no wrong in my eyes, and when she does... it really isn't her fault. :) lol My lil sister is not a saint, but she is more like me than I realize. She and I are two lil hoochies and we love every bit of it! :) I love my family, they are my rock and I know that they will love me and do anything for me!! Along with Family comes my Cousins! I don't think I ever REALLY express how AMAZING my childhood was because I grew up with the best cousins in the world. they are so funny and we all accept each other just as we are without having to worry about when the next time we are going to be able to see each other because we know when we do it will be just like old times! :) Full of singing Disney songs, playing Piggly Wiggly, eating in "The HHHUT" building "The CLUB" (I wish I could pronounce those out loud for you all) playing barbies, house, and basically just laughing at everything because we know we are the funniest people alive. :)

Number 2... My Friends are AMAZING!!!!! AMAZING! whether its friends from childhood, high school, college or present day I have the best friends ever that in one way or another have made me who I am today and helped me through all the trials in my life. Not only do I have amazing Friends, But I have amazing cousins, who happen to be in the FRIENDS category also! They are  my best friends Also. My Cousin Tanith is such an awesome example to me of how it is to be happy and joyous through out her whole life. She is such a sweet person and I only wish I could be more like her. My cousin Whitney is so fun and talented she knows exactly what she likes and she's not afraid to say no and do what she wants to, not what people think she should want to do. My roommate Rachel. She and I can tell each other anything, and we still know that at the end of the day, Agree or Disagree, we are Still the Bestest of Friends! Our friendship has really grown the past year and it continues to get stronger. We have helped each other through trial after trial. We can sit there and stress out with each other and then laugh with each other. I know I can tell her anything and she will give me her honest opinion, She doesn't feed me with what I WANT to hear, she tells me how she see's it. I APPRECIATE that! :) it means more to me that she CARES than just trying to appease me with thoughtless comments to make me feel better or make me happy. I love the lil hooker to death and we can sit and just laugh at the stupid things we say and know that it is all out of love!!! :)

Now that I have made those shout outs, Here is some random stuff that I love in my life.
My apartment. Minus the fact that the office people suck, I really do LOVE my Room, and My closet. I love out pretty lil Kitchen and out comfy lil couch. I also love our lil TV even though it is NOT 'HD' as has been pointed out to me MULTIPLE times!! (you know who you are! LOL)
I have been working really hard on keeping my room clean and even though I have been slacking on making my bed in the morning I cleaned it this weekend and plan on getting to my bathroom TONIGHT! :)
I also love having a Costa Vida right down the street. and will miss it THOROUGHLY when Rachel and I move in October. Le Sigh. (I wrote this a while ago, Rachel and I ahve already moved out and luckily soon Costa Vida will be just as close as it was before! woot woot!!!)

I love having my own money and supporting myself. GRANTED my parents still pitch in every now and then and take care of my major bills. HOWEVER I am working on being  FULL adult haha I love being able to buy myself some shoes when I feel like it because I CAN. and IT'S MY MONEY! woo hoo that's probably the best. I definitely go overboard when it comes to shoes and I don't wear half of the ones I buy. But they are so pretty and they make me happy. THUS that's all that matters.

ANYWAYS HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY FRIDAY!!! POSITIVE THINKING!!!!!!!!!!! I love LIFE! I LOVE FAMILY! I LOVE FRIENDS!!!! Then END!! :)

Looks Goats in a TREE!  

Better!

aaaaaahhhh....... Stress Relief. No I don't have my money back in my account. No I haven't ffigured out how to cure cancer. and No I still have every single weird problem that has brought me stress before. HOWEVER, I have given in. No not given UP, Given in. I have given in to the fact that I am unable to control the outcome of things. I can only control how I react to them. Sure I can have the attitude that "Everything happens to me!" or "I'm doing what I should, Why is this happening?!" or my favorite excuse of a mental breakdown "I do all this stuff for other people why doesn't my stuff just take care of itself?!" Ha yes I am was once upon a time the queen of going along with what everybody else wants and doing what everybody else tells me to do or think or say. I kind of became a "follower" GASP! and Maybe I've always been one. I've always been the friend that was "Down for whatever" but in the past few months I have been having a constant battle with asking myself "Do I want to?" Sure it may sound selfish and people can say "Not everything is about YOU!" and yes I agree its not. But my Happiness is about me isn't it? And doesn't what I do and say reflect onto me? My ANSWER is: YES, YES IT DOES!!!!!!!!! So maybe I don't always make the best decisions for myself or maybe the way I want to do something is the "hard" or "stupid" way. But it makes sense to me. And shouldn't things make sense to you?! ANSWER is: YES, YES IT SHOULD!!!!  So Now I'm working on REALLY deciding if I want to do something, or say something, or go somewhere. I have decided to stop and think before I answer. {shocking idea right?! ;)} BUT seriously! now I understand why parents are always saying "I'll think about it" its not just because they don't want to disappoint you right away! (okay maybe sometimes it is :P) It's because they really do want to take the time to decide. I've decided to instead of being the Queen of "Yea, SURE, WHY NOT!" Instead to be the Queen of "I'll Think about it, But Probably" I really hate to disappoint people so if its a good idea and something that I WANT to do and can AFFORD to do. I will.
HA I like when I have these lil blasts of self-empowerment.
They feel good! LOL anyways I just want to get to the point where I'm happy with everything I do and EVERY choice I make. (yes, I do live in a fantasy world where everything should be happy) BUT isn't that the point?! HAPPINESS?! And I'm not talking the "Do whatever makes you Happy" crap or the "Hey you do your thing it doesn't matter" because it DOES matter. It matters a lot. You can't just walk around doing EVERYTHING for your self, stepping on whoever on your way? and you can't just participate in activities that you want. SURE i guess you technically CAN but lets all be prepared for the outcome and consequences. For the past few years I've been on this "Oh yeah, I'll do what I want because I think its fun and I don't care what people think because I'm just gonna do me" let me just tell you how that worked out for me, or should I say how it DIDN'T work out for me.
I lost my self-esteem. and A lot of it. I lost my self-worth. My life was FULL of drama and stress and other issues that weren't even worth the pain and mental anxiety. Now I'm not saying that the past few years have been absolutely TERRIBLE! on the contrary I have the best friends! I have people who truly love and care about me, and I have done things and gone places that were SO FUN!
HOWEVER recently I have been on the path of SELF RECOVERY. and I love it. I pray daily and allow myself to stop and think about the decision that I want to make. I feel the guiding hand of my Father in Heaven and it helps remember why I get to ENJOY this life! And to enjoy it in POSITIVE and UPLIFTING manner!! It makes me feel good about myself knowing that I have not disappointed myself and that in fact I am PROUD of who I am working on being!

Wow. This is probably the longest most boring post I have ever written. HA lets find something fun!

Did you know that there are goats that can Climb Trees?! FACT! It was on YAHOO! news! BOOM. HILARIOUS!

This one was My FAVORITE!!!!!!! :)

I wear Suits.

This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of Express for SocialSpark. All opinions are 100% mine.

So At my work I have to wear a FULL business suit EVERY DAY. I really don't mind it TOO much but it just gets to the pint where I feel like I am wearring the same clothes over and over! So I am constantly looking for new suits! This as you may imagine can be very expensive and gets old after a while. Thus I am always looking for new and cuter ways to dress, while staying with my work dress code. Now here's my issue, I kind of have ridiculous long legs for my size and can hardly ever find some with the waists my size with the length I need. Then I ordered my first pants from EXPRESS. (insert choir singing HALLELUJAH here) They were great! Then I got a jacket and its even better nice and form fitting but not too tight! I love them! Check them out HERE---->women's suits! and the pants are so comfy I don't mind staying in them after I get home!

And GUESS WHAT I FOUND?!

A chance for YOU to win a $500 Suiting Makeover from EXPRESS!!!

CLICK HERE! --->Express sweepstakes

Anyways I love Express Suits! The studio pant is my FAV! Do you where suits? do you love them?

 

Express EXPRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

T.G.I.F.

This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of T.G.I. FRiDAY'S for SocialSpark. All opinions are 100% mine.

No, NO. I know what you're thinking "Is she Crazy its not Friday?!" to that I reply, you are correct but its MY Friday! That's Right I don't have work tomorrow. Instead of working I plan on moving ALL day on Friday. and speaking of work I don't eat lunch. I go through phases where I will bring something like cheese sticks or I'll order for a delivery but when I have no money instead of trying to pack a lunch from what little we have at home I choose to simple not eat. BAD idea. VERY BAD IDEA.

So As I was browsing through the grocery store the other day I saw these TGIF "Entrees for One. And they looked DELICIOUS!!!

I mean Chicken and broccoli Alfredo, Sizzling Chicken Fajitas and my personal FAVORITE Sesame Orange Chicken. Oh boy I almost opened them right there and started to eat.. had they not been frozen I might have! :P

T.G.I. FRiDAY’S “Entrées for One”

So I looked up all the different kinds and such and I'm totally getting them the next time I'm not psychotically poor from the Stupid Bank as I posted below. My Dad said that he also has FULLY enjoyed these!!!

THEN I SAW THIS ------>Fun Freezer contest

And it looked fun! So check it out and VOTE!!!

Mental Breakdown Day.

Today. Is. Mental. Breakdown. Day.

I've been dealing with a lot of stress lately. Stress that I keep hidden deep in this dark place that I have created in my brain. I'm stressed over lots of little things.  Deep things that will make me sound crazy if I say them out loud so I prefer to keep them to myself. One thing I WOULD like to rant about is how awful Wells Fargo Customer service is. That's right I'm putting Wells Fargo Bank on BLAST right now. Well correction one girl was as helpful as she could be. She knows me Dad so she helped me out as much as she could. BUT let me back track and explain the story.
So I have been looking into getting a CREDIT card to build up my CREDIT.
Wells Fargo is my bank so I thought its only natural that I should go through them. (hhmph)
So I look it up, there's one that is a CREDIT BUILDING CREDIT CARD.
*INTERRUPTION*** granted this entire thing it all could have never happened if I'd read the FINE (very fine) print.
ANYWAYS , I get approved! I'm thinking "Woo HOO" my first credit card" it asks me to set what limit I would like and since I'm not planning on using it for anything big I decide $400 should be good right?
THEN it says they will be sending me my card in the mail and blah blah blah. I get an $18 charge to start the card, I'm thinking no big deal most cards have annual fees.

So I'm all excited living my life.... then this morning I get an e-mail from my dad saying my account is majorly overdrawn and I might want to check it out, I'm thinking... THERE'S NO WAY. I had at LEAST 200 dollars left in my account and I haven't bought anything but JIMMY JOHNS (which I LOVE)
So I go and look and sure enough I'm over drawn... NOT only am I overdrawn... BUT ITS overdrawn $301!!!!
So naturally the first thing I think is " WHAT THE F!!!!!" so then I look have a freak out and see that Wells Fargo took out $400 from my account to put into a "SECURE CREDIT ACCOUNT" MEANING they over drafted my other account to put money in my "Credit" account. Now here's how this 'SECURE' account works and it prolly is a good idea (If you're aware that its you're own money that becomes the "credit"). You put a certain amount above $300 on a card and you use it as a credit card and as long as you pay it back monthly and keep that 400 in there, THEN in 6 months to a year you will qualify for basically ANY credit card. Sounds nice right?
HOWEVER I thought I was signing up for a regular CREDIT CARD. If I had known I would be spending my own money I wouldn't have done it. So then I'm on the phone with everyone and their dog at wells fargo and the guy says well I can give you a cash Advance, but we charge you 1.50 for every 20 dollars we put in your account plus interest on how long it takes you to pay it back. So Since I didn't want to PAY to have money put in my account that I shouldn't have lost in the first place I said no. So I put in a claim and he starts getting really rude. Now, shockingly I have remained very calm and polite through everything that he has been telling me. Then he starts asking me questions for my claim. "I'm going to ask you a few questions and if you can answer in a yes or no that would be great" I said " okay" He asks " Did you apply for the account" ME: "Yes, but I didn't know..." I'm interrupted by him when he says "Yes Or No, will be fine" (RUDE!!!!!!!!) so I say "yes." he asks " Did you authorize the account?" Me: "Yes, but once again I wasn't aware that it would be MY money used for the credit" he says :" So yes?" Me: "Yes." (starting to get REAL angry) He asked a few more questions and when he was done he said " Well, judging by your answer, you authorized the account, paid the 18 dollar fee and applied for it, SO I don't think this claim is going to do you much good." Me: "So what do you suggest I do?" He says "Well I can connect you to the credit card department"  I say "Okay" I get connected to the credit department where the girl has a horrendous accent that I can't understand and basically she tells me that what she can do for me is cancel my account and put the money back in there, however there is still a chance that it MIGHT affect my credit score. So by this time because I can't handle people telling me they cant do anything for me and I just REALLY need that money back in my account I say to myself screw the credit score and I ask her POLITELY to simply cancel the account. She cancels it.. THEN, THEN informs me that it will take about 45-60 days to show up back in my account. Now at this point I've basically lost my mind and mentally broken down. She asks if that's all she can do for me and I say "CLEARLY." and hang up. So here I am 300-ISH dollars over drafted with $35 dollar overdraft fees and about 4 more come by tomorrow and I'M basically F-ed. Yup that's right. I'm broke. So basically all this is going to suck up about half of my paycheck on Friday. then I have student loans I'm supposed to pay, along with so much more that my head is basically at the point of explosion.
Thus today became MENTAL.BREAKDOWN. DAY.
And I cried in the bathroom. And I plan on crying the whole way home.

SAN DIEGO(PICS)

Okay so it took me WAY too long to post these! HAHA but here are some of my favorite moments From Our trip to San Diego Back in AUGUST! yeesh!

So Naturally the first thing we did when we got into town was go to the Pier and see the beach as the sun was setting! The lighting was PERFECT for a PHOTO SHOOT! this is just a lil taste! :)

Of Course I can't pass up an opportunity to take a picture of my Fav and Only lil sister Stevie! It was her birthday that weekend so I paid for mostly everything for her. Isn't she luck to have me?!

We had a Mud fight at the beach! which actually is the cause that these were the last pictures that my camera ever gave me. RIP.

So we all had a WONDERFUL time and on Sunday we decided to go see the LDS San Diego Temple, IT WAS BEAUTIFUL! Just like I remembered! But then again What Temple isn't beautiful? I love them all!!!

*** Funny Thing, Rachel and I CLEARLY were NOT ready for a picture that was taken. Our faces are PRICELESS!! :)

Easier Way to Talk... Straight.

This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of Straight Talk for SocialSpark. All opinions are 100% mine.

 

 So as I was browsing the big wide world we call "The Internet" and I came across 'Straight Talk'

It seemed to be such an easy and inexpensive way to have a cell phone! There are NO contracts, and NO Credit Checks (awesome for people like me trying to build their credit!) They have NATION WIDE coverage and Awesome reception! Plus they only use the best phone manufacturers like LG, Motorola, Kyocera, Noki, and Samsung! HOLLA!

I can't even FATHOM the extra money I could save! (So many new clothes and Shoes to buy with that extra money! )

The "All you need plan" meets even MY out of control phone usage with 1000 minutes, 1000 texts, and 30mb Web data!

AND it gets better! The UNLIMITED monthly service is only $499 for an entire YEAR, or only $45 a MONTH!

411 calls come with NO EXTRA CHARGE, It has FREE activation,re-activation, or termination. INTERNATIONAL long distance is flexible, prepaid and LOW RATES!

Hook, line and sinker

They have reconditioned phones at $10, with cameras, MP3 Players, and WEB media, and Bluetooth capability! PLUS SMARTPHONES!

Android on Straight Talk

Call a friend

Check out this VIDEO!!

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AND if you're STILL not convinced check out this customer testimonials! 

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So Check it out Tell me what you think!

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CRAFTY

I have Vowed to become "Crafty" like all the other blogs that I follow. I plan to make sure I have plenty of time to make pillows, and jewelry, and home decor. I just need to start. SO while I was working ridiculously hard at work (sarcasm) I decided to take a "break" and make something "crafty"

My only problem was that I was seriously lacking in the supplies department. I looked around and what did I have.

¬Newspaper
¬Tape
¬Paper clips.
¬Scissors.

So I decided to make Flowers. I watched some tutorials and looked at other people's pictures and VOILA! Made these pretty little duds.

Yes, I realize they are basically useless. Yes, I understand the fact that I probably end up just throwing them away. and YES, My boss did see them and wonder why she was paying me to sit here all day. (I'd like to know the same thing)
HOWEVER. I was crafty, and my coworker told me that she would bring me colored paper tomorrow. :) JOY!
That's it. That's my craft.
xoxo Aubs!

ROAD TRIPS GALORE and MORE!

Okay! so I haven't documented much lately and basically its because I don't have any fun pictures to post. DUE to the fact that my camera is completely messed up. Its could have something to do with sand, beach, water, and San Diego. BUT who knows! ;) Anyways I have traveled a TON! the past few weeks so why don't we just go back in time a bit to the weekend of August 26.. I THINK. Anyways Rachel and I went to LAS VEGAS again! :) to see Rachel's Family.

It was a lovely calm trip and we went to Fremont Street with the purpose of Zip lining down. However... NOBODY was zip lining. it was completely packed and if we were the first people to zip line everyone would have been staring at us all awkwardly and such. So where as usually I wouldn't be able to pass up an opportunity to do anything that has to do with heights.. Rach and I decided better of it. HOWEVER we are going back for HALLOWEEN and I WILL BUNGEE JUMP OFF the STRATOSPHERE. GOAL! Its going to happen! Lets all hope I can get Rach to Join me! :)

THEN the weekend after that we went up to Provo Utah to see the LOVELY Shannon!!! We left after work at around 6.... then HORROR! Traffic in between PHX and Flagstaff was a complete NIGHTMARE. So after the long delay.... and tons.. and tons.. and tons of DRIVING! we finally made it to Provo at 5:30 am. We are true Road trippers for sure! So then we slept in until about 10. Then went to the lake, then after that we went to a super cool POSH Bowling Alley in Park City UT. I can't remember the name but it was AWESOME!, So Anyways it being Labor Day weekend we didn't have to leave Sunday like we usually do!, thus we went and saw one of my very FAVORITE friends Breanna Meldrum! who is engaged! :) and we hung out and played SARDINES Sunday night (backwards hide and go seek) it was so fun! then on Monday we went and had breakfast at Denny's and then decided to stop through Vegas again, thus we went through Cedar City, where my Older sister Lisette just HAPPENED to be! got to see her for a bit, then saw Rachel's family in Vegas and then FINALLY made it back home!

So we stayed in town this past weekend and it was super relaxing, but...

YUP! You guessed it! We are going out of town this weekend and I have FRIDAY OFF! WOO HOO! We are going up to Williams Arizona to stay in a Cabin with Rachel, her mom, and sisters for Rachel's Birthday! :) woo hoo!! I am soooo excited! we are going to see the Grand Canyon! and get MASSAGES and PEDICURES! I am sooooo fully EXCITED about the massage!!! I have needed one for soooo long! :) SO EXCITED! so anyways! that's basically what my life has consisted of. Travel, Work, and Eat. That's my life along with watching as movie's reading as many books as I can get my hands on.

ON THAT NOTE: I watched Date Night for the first time this week ... HILARIOUS! So funny. I am in the middle of reading the sequel to the Three Musketeers, 20 Years After. Along with a book about Mary, Queen of Scott's. You know those are my guilty pleasure! :)  Finished Matched a couple weeks back and I need to finish the entire series before I decide my final outcome.

So excited about my life and the direction that I am taking myself. The adventure of self discovery and self acceptance is going great and I am staying strong to the advice that is given to me! And in that I am finding my self worth that I lost. :)

XOXO-Aubs!

CNN

At my work there is a TV in the lobby. It just so happens that CNN is the required constant Station it is to be set on. At first i didn't mind. I knew a lot about the news and what was going on in the world, WAY more than I ever used to. I watched the entire Casey Anthony trial highlights, a long with all the hurricanes, fires, murders, beatings, arrests, and lets not forget all the political issues.

Long story short. The news is DEPRESSING. I literally feel depressed or paranoid after every day of work and I have to go home and watch sitcoms or reality TV to get my mood at a better level.

It is so mind numbing. I mean it literally sucks the joy right out of my day. It really makes me start to wonder what the heck is wrong with the world. WHY would someone start randomly beat a homeless man. WHY would someone decide to start shooting randomly in a restaurant. I just don't understand. I am fully baffled.

Basically I am depressed and bored at work.
Oh my life. Oh CNN.
I wish they would show all the HAPPY stuff too!

READING!!!

So I read "The Help" And it is AMAZING one of the best books I've EVER READ! and I read.. A LOT. I don't know how to explain the amazing-ness of the book, except to say that I loved the movie JUST AS MUCH! I mean have you ever seen a movie where you were not disappointed about things left out that you thought were important? I have TONZ!!! but this followed the BOOK AMAZINGLY well and only left out a few MINOR details but you felt all the joy and sadness through the entire movie that I felt through reading the book! :)

NOW--- Having said that... I also read "ONE DAY"

AMAZING. SO GOOD, So FRUSTRATING, SO SAD, SO HAPPY! and the movie.. Just as good. Left out more details, and kind of didn't explain everything as well as i wished it had... HOWEVER TRUE to the book which I appreciated. :)

I am CURRENTLY Reading "Matched" and Can I just say that I enjoy it a lot. But I'm almost finished with the book and I feel there is soo much going on... Then I remembered it is a Trilogy. THUS I'm going to have  to read the next one to understand it all. The Author took a lot of time introducing the characters and setting ground work which I like because it will give more time for the actual plot in the rest of the books. (I HOPE)

So far so good :)

I have also just learned that Disney has gotten the rights to make the movies... NOW I am FULLY satisfied with this as long as they follow the book. Can I just say that I am a FULL DISNEY NUT and Love Disney and the Idea of everything DISNEY with all my heart.

THAT being said.

THEY RUINED ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITE BOOKS!

I was so Excited! DISNEY was making a movie of a book that I have read almost 10 times since childhood!

ELLA ENCHANTED. It was one of the most amazing books I'd ever read. It was funny and romantic and even in my childhood years I cried at the sad parts! :) I still love that book with ALL MY HEART!

THE MOVIE. BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT OF MY LIFE. Not only did they screw with the storyline (hardcore) they made everything STUPID! EVERYTHING was just dumb. DUMB DUMB DUMB. and can I say that if you haven't bought it for your daughters because the movie is dumb. PLEASE DO. The book is GREAT! MOVIE HORRIBLE. HORRIBLE. I'm serious when I say it was one of the biggest disappointments in my ENTIRE life!!!!