Monday, April 23, 2012


Today has been a day of "Reflection" HA. Seriously though, I've been looking through old pictures, Pictures of who I was when I was a Kid, Pictures of who I grew to be in High School, Then came the College years, the "Finding Me" years, and Now I am contemplating who I am NOW, RIGHT THIS VERY MOMENT. :)
I was a wild child. Full of energy and loudness and excitement. I was thrilled for everything! My cousins have family videos of me on family vacation acting like a total lunatic. (literally, why they never tested me for A.D.D. I'll never understand) I was also the "Ring Leader" of me and my two cousins. I truly believe Whitney and Tanith might have followed me off a cliff If I had told them to :) I was always making up stupid games and even dumber rules to those games, but they always played along and stayed by my side. To this day when we finally get together we are the Three Amigos again and it's like time has never changed.
Then came the middle schools years, I'm being completely and fully honest when I say this. I got ugly. I don't know what happened or why I became such a tragic looking child but I did and I also became very shy. Not around family, my family could never guess that some days going to school knowing that my one friend wasn't going to be there was absolute horror. But everyone has their awkward middle school years. 
High School. Eh. I got better looking, once my braces were gone, and I joined the cheer team I got a little more outgoing but I was still more the girl that simply went to her classes, passed her classes, and didn't mind if you copied her. HAHA that was my freshman and sophomore year in a nutshell. By my Junior year I finally had my true Best Friends (Brenna, Cherisa, Breanna, Rachel) and of course my Faithful Best Cousin Friends. I was part of "The Mormon" group in my school and I fit in like a glove :)
Needless to say I was rather naive, but not without my imperfections.
College- This is when I really began to realize how "innocent" I truly was. I think I was very oblivious to the things that were going on around me, I had never dealt with "Drama"- But I sure got my fill. College wasn't All bad and in fact I made some of my very best friends, and MOST IMPORTANTLY this is where I met my current Best Friend (RACHEL MICHELLE TAYLOR!!!!!) So I changed a lot in the college years, grew into almost a completely new person. I was still "ME" per say, but I was different, independence and being 7 hours from any form of family can do that to a person.
There was a small Blip in my life that consisted of moving back home for my mom, working at one of my favorite places ever, and being in a total rut. It was not fun living at home again without any of your friends. So I then moved down to Mesa, and attended Massage Therapy School. Now. During this blip in my life, I got lost. I was already technically not doing what was right, BUT I was REALLY lost. My entire outlook on life was changed and I could feel the sense of hopelessness growing everyday. I guess you can say that the theme of my life was "YOLO" (stupid.)......
FAST FORWARD- through a lot of different circumstances I find myself where I am today. DIFFERENT. Happier. I am still searching for all the things that life can give, but I'm searching for the RIGHT things, the GOOD things. I don't want EVERYTHING in life. We weren't meant to have EVERYTHING. Just the Good things that we NEED. So where as the Lord may send certain trials to certain people. He knows, which ones are meant for me and he is going to give me the ones I can handle. So Basically... I like Me. I've always liked me, but I guess what I SHOULD say, is I'm PROUD of the "ME" that I am today, and I hope that I can only grow into an even BETTER ME! :)

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Prideful??? ... Maybe...

I have always considered myself a rather Prideful person,
I stick my ground on a lot of things, and even when I know I am in the wrong it is VERY hard for me to admit it and let go of my Pride.
I know this about myself and I am trying to work on it.
However I see some people who have no pride at all and I wonder how they can handle it.
How do you let things go and accept them?
For example,
I never let people know that they've hurt me. EVER. To admit to someone that I let them have control and let them hurt me is probably one of the worst things I could ever THINK of doing!

Saying "Sorry" has always been a trial for me as well, When my sisters and I would fight, My older sister was ALWAYS the one to say I'm sorry first. Always. And Stevie Never did, (thus we didn't get along :P) Instead of saying sorry, I simply chose to act like everything was fine, once I was over the issue I assumed that other people were too.
However I find that is not always the case and it's often better to say sorry, rather than pretend it didn't happen.
That's something I've learned in my "wise old age" HAHA
But seriously, Pride... When is it bad to have too much pride?
I am really having a hard time with my pride lately...
How do you humble yourself to others without feeling like they are walking all over you?
Pride, Its a complicated thing.
I guess some would say to "let my pride go completely"
But lets face it... That won't ever happen.... 

Monday, April 9, 2012


OMG... Its been too long... Way too long. I can't even express how lacking I have been in my blogging... Its probably because I don't have anything OVERLY EXCITING... WAIT THAT'S A LIE!!
I officially work at Metro Fire Equipment WITH....... DRUM ROLL PLEASE...... THAT'S RIGHT MY BEST FRIEND RACHEL!! WOO HOO!!!

Now some would think that we may get "sick of each other" however that's not even an option for us HAHA Actually once she's done training me she will be busy in another area of the office.. so we wont even see each other except on the way to work and lunch, and back.. and at home, and everywhere else :P
But yeah I love it so far! It's nice to work WITH people instead of FOR them, and to wear regular clothes... and have windows... Windows are the big plus :)
Anyways.... OH I went to Disneyland and I fully suck at updating with Pics and such..... I WILL THOUGH.. Oh yes, I WILL!
Until THEN... ADIOS!