Monday, April 23, 2012

ME?

Today has been a day of "Reflection" HA. Seriously though, I've been looking through old pictures, Pictures of who I was when I was a Kid, Pictures of who I grew to be in High School, Then came the College years, the "Finding Me" years, and Now I am contemplating who I am NOW, RIGHT THIS VERY MOMENT. :)
I was a wild child. Full of energy and loudness and excitement. I was thrilled for everything! My cousins have family videos of me on family vacation acting like a total lunatic. (literally, why they never tested me for A.D.D. I'll never understand) I was also the "Ring Leader" of me and my two cousins. I truly believe Whitney and Tanith might have followed me off a cliff If I had told them to :) I was always making up stupid games and even dumber rules to those games, but they always played along and stayed by my side. To this day when we finally get together we are the Three Amigos again and it's like time has never changed.
Then came the middle schools years, I'm being completely and fully honest when I say this. I got ugly. I don't know what happened or why I became such a tragic looking child but I did and I also became very shy. Not around family, my family could never guess that some days going to school knowing that my one friend wasn't going to be there was absolute horror. But everyone has their awkward middle school years. 
High School. Eh. I got better looking, once my braces were gone, and I joined the cheer team I got a little more outgoing but I was still more the girl that simply went to her classes, passed her classes, and didn't mind if you copied her. HAHA that was my freshman and sophomore year in a nutshell. By my Junior year I finally had my true Best Friends (Brenna, Cherisa, Breanna, Rachel) and of course my Faithful Best Cousin Friends. I was part of "The Mormon" group in my school and I fit in like a glove :)
Needless to say I was rather naive, but not without my imperfections.
College- This is when I really began to realize how "innocent" I truly was. I think I was very oblivious to the things that were going on around me, I had never dealt with "Drama"- But I sure got my fill. College wasn't All bad and in fact I made some of my very best friends, and MOST IMPORTANTLY this is where I met my current Best Friend (RACHEL MICHELLE TAYLOR!!!!!) So I changed a lot in the college years, grew into almost a completely new person. I was still "ME" per say, but I was different, independence and being 7 hours from any form of family can do that to a person.
There was a small Blip in my life that consisted of moving back home for my mom, working at one of my favorite places ever, and being in a total rut. It was not fun living at home again without any of your friends. So I then moved down to Mesa, and attended Massage Therapy School. Now. During this blip in my life, I got lost. I was already technically not doing what was right, BUT I was REALLY lost. My entire outlook on life was changed and I could feel the sense of hopelessness growing everyday. I guess you can say that the theme of my life was "YOLO" (stupid.)......
FAST FORWARD- through a lot of different circumstances I find myself where I am today. DIFFERENT. Happier. I am still searching for all the things that life can give, but I'm searching for the RIGHT things, the GOOD things. I don't want EVERYTHING in life. We weren't meant to have EVERYTHING. Just the Good things that we NEED. So where as the Lord may send certain trials to certain people. He knows, which ones are meant for me and he is going to give me the ones I can handle. So Basically... I like Me. I've always liked me, but I guess what I SHOULD say, is I'm PROUD of the "ME" that I am today, and I hope that I can only grow into an even BETTER ME! :)

3 comments:

Ree, G, lil T said...

I like you too. :)

Joe & Tanith Applegate said...

thats big aub! i loved that....like...a lot :)

Aubry June said...

Shanks!!! :) I loves you guys! :)