Trying to Take Contol

"It's Astounding, Time is Fleeting, Madness takes control, but listen closely, not for very much longer.. I've got to... keep control ".------ Rocky Horror Picture Show

You wouldn't think that those would be the words to describe my life right now, but they OH SO very much are. I like to think that my life is very controlled and it is. I've taken hold of some situations and I'm working on my self improvement as I have posted about previously. HOWEVER no matter how much control I take of my life and no matter how much try to declutter, I can't control other peoples lives. There are a few people in my life right now that I feel that if they would just LISTEN to me, Take my ADVICE, and do what I say it would make thier lives SO MUCH EASIER, not just Easier, BETTER. But naturally I guess life doesn't work that way. And I sit here and I get angry and upset and then fume over it. BUT then I need to realize that it's so much easier to tell OTHER people what to do in thier life than it is to take advice from people. Like me. I'm not happy in my job. Sure its a great steady income and being 23 and having that in this economy I am very lucky. But so I've been super wishy washy about getting another job, or going back to school, or getting a different kind of job. I feel as though my days are on repeat. I do the EXACT same thing EVERYDAY. and that would be awesome if I enjoyed it. but I don't.
I wake up at 6:30, get dressed for work. leave by 7, get to work by 8, sit there ALL day by myself, pinterest, blog, read, add in a bit of answering phones, listen to the Same clients tell the SAME jokes, (inster courtesy laugh) go to lunch around 1:15.. either sleep in car, eat JimmyJohns, or read. come back to work. Sort mail. deliver mail, pinterest, blog, close everything up. clock out leave at 5:00 get home at 6:00, either Rachel made food or I go out to get something. watch TV. REPEAT.
HOW FREAKIN BORING AM I?! I mean really?! So when people as me how I am... I say.. oh good, the same, I work, yup still in AZ.... blah blah blah... I need to spice up my freakin life!!! and yet... I really have no clue how to do that....SIGH. I mean... I've thought about going back to school but sheesh.. I hate student loans...... like REALLY hate them.... my mom has suggested just taking one or two classes a semester but even then they would have to be online and those are still mucho mucho amounts of money's..... Oh my life.. REPEAT. I'm trying to pray about how to give me some drive.... I'm really losing my umph. I suppose i'll find it soon. So any suggestions would be helpful.. I mean .. I guess I have my whole life to pay off student loans...... So here is where I am asking someone else to tell me what to do with my life?! FIX ME! I'm BROKEN! : P

After-Hours Work Party's.

I officially have a rant. Today's Rant is about Work parties... So far I have successfully not gone to a single after-hours work party. And here are my reasons why:

#1 Awkward Social Gatherings give me ANXIETY. I am not the most outgoing social person. Sure I like to talk to people and have fun.. ONCE I GET TO KNOW THEM. And maybe I would be able to have a better time if I actually worked with these people.. but no, I sit at my center ALL DAY by myself.. I am the only one there aside form the clients. So yes that's my Number 1 reason is pure SOCIAL ANXIETY.

#2 Even if I DID see these people ALL DAY at work, WHY would I want to stay AFTER work even LONGER, and then have an HOUR long drive home??? WHY would that be appealing? (it's not)

#3 It's just not appealing to me. After work I want to go home. and sit. and eat. and watch TV. Read. and NOT socialize and pretend laugh at peoples jokes because I do enough of that during the day. sigh.

ANYWAYS, Needless to say I was NOT successful in diverting this time. I was caught like a Bunny in a Bear Trap... Alas I shall go. Bring on the Anxiety, bring on the fake laugh. Corporate Robot Aubry is on her way.

***** This post makes it sound like I don't like anyone I work with which is untrue. I enjoy the people that I closely work with. They are all really nice and it won't be as HORRIBLE of a time as I am making it out to be... just an uncomfortable time.

~~~~ I never published this rant for fear of the Corporate world. HOWEVER I ended up going. and didn't have as bad of a time as I thought I would. It was fine :) HAHA

My Dad better 'Sprint' to get this DEAL!!!

This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of Sprint for SocialSpark. All opinions are 100% mine.

So My little Sister uses Sprint as her cell phone Carrier and she has been begging my dad nonstop for a  NEW Cell Phone this Christmas... So as usual I'm stuck with advising my dad on what my little sister would like and which is better and what do I run into? Lo and Behold! a 3-Day Sale by Sprint!

They have more great Holiday deals on Android powered EVO 4G OR the EVO Shift devces during this 3-Day Sale! You can get it FREE only from here!

Android™ powered EVO 4G devices

Plus for NEW lines of service get FREE SHIPPING and WAIVED activation fees ONLY from SPRINT!

Needless to say that in this Holiday season and Gift Giving season I know that my parents a a whole lot more people could really use these sales and it's always important to alert people of AWESOME deals especially when they are as wonderful as this! I know that everyone is always happy to receive a new phone! I personally find great joy in figuring out how a new phone works and all the awesome accessories and apps available to each phone! What can I say? I LOVE technology! :)

THE CONQUERING HERO RETURNS!

(WARNING: I'm NOT trying to be PREACHY!!! this is just how I feel)

I've been Praying A LOT lately. Way more than I have in the past 5 years. These past 5 years have been the best and worst times of my life. Although I'm SURE there are more 'Worsts' coming along because as we all know life only gets harder with more trials, I feel that I have conquered a few REALLY big Trials. I wouldn't Say CONQUERED I guess, but At least put aside a few issues in my life. As I'm sure it was apparent I haven't always been doing what I know to be right. Oh sure as "tricky" and "sneaky" as I thought I was being, people always know. And they did. But the people in my life that I was "hiding" these things from knew all along that all they could do was love me. And love me they did. My Mom especially and looking back on it now I can see how much the things I was doing hurt her, not physically and not her PERSONALLY, but you know, she's my mom and THUS everything I chose to do DOES cause a reaction from her. I'm sure for many days, nights, and hours she would sit and think and pray about us. I know she did her best and that none of my choices reflect on her because I know that she taught me better. (She knew it too : P) I have always known that the trials I was going through were temporary. But what happens when Temporary becomes Normal and you lose sight of what you thought was right, and thought was wrong, and then you forget completely what you know and what you don't know and then you just get lost in ALL the GRAY in this world?! I got really close to that point a while back. I got to a point where I was rationalizing everything and creating excuses and making up lies to myself trying to shut my conscious up. I kept telling it that "I'm Happy!, I'm FUN! I'm so carefree! I don't have anyone telling me what to do! I'm independent!"  All of which were lies. In the coming months I began to become a very different person. I was angry.. A LOT. I was completely irritable and would get mad and offended over the silliest things. Then I started to feel that even my closest friends were against me. I started to rationalize and pretend I was always right. My self-esteem was SHOT and I thought that the only time I was "FUN" was when I was making the wrong choices. Then one GLORIOUS day My Bishop called me in. It was just the routine yearly talk, and it went really well he got to know about me and my family, how much I loved my mom and the trials that our family has gone through.... One thing led to another and after that meeting my life was changed. FOREVER. I had never felt so relieved in my entire life. I felt like POSITIVE and UPLIFTED for the first time in almost 4 years. It was a great feeling. Since that day I have been doing everything in my power to remember what I KNOW to be true and to grow from everything. Now lets not get confused and think that Aubry is all of a sudden perfect because that would be a HORRIBLE LIE! I still Curse OCCASIONALLY though I am trying to limit that to the basics (you know D,H,S,B, A), I still am sarcastic and I'm still randomly a total BWITCH! In short I'm still me. For a while I was trying to get back to "Who I was in High School" but I came to realization that I can Never and SHOULD never be that girl again. Sure she was great! But she didn't go through ANY of the trials I've been through thus she had never really had her testimony tested. I am happy to say that My testimony HAS been tried and it is MUCH stronger than High School Aubry's was. She was Great. But The Aubry Now, ME, I'm stronger. :) ANYWAYS

That sounds kinda Preachy and I'm not meaning for it to be I just wanted to express How happy I am and I'm excited for the life I have ahead of me!  and since there are more "Worsts" to come I'm super excited for the even better "BESTS" that are headed my way... :)

P.S. My Best friend since the 5th grade is getting Married this weekend, AND I'm going to Vegas! :) JOY! MORE PICS TO COME!!!! hee hee heee

P.S.S. I tried to find a picture of a Female Conqueror..... THAT WAS A TERRIBLE THING TO LOOK UP WHILE AT WORK! Just SAYING! (thus the picture has NOTHING to do with the post LOL)

New Sweater!

You may be wondering why I have decided to write an entire blog.. about a Sweater.....
Well Let me tell you I love sweaters.. I love HOODIES more.. WAY more but I found a sweater that takes the cake of all sweaters I've ever had....... but first let me explain my sweater obsession.

I get cold... and when I get cold I stay cold for a very long time. As I have mentioned before I grew up in a town that gets pretty stinking cold during the winter... but I don't get cold just during the winter oh no, I get cold through the summer and such. (that's why I live in AZ LOL) So back in high school I wore a gray sweater to school EVERY DAY. This is not an exaggeration. Partly because I was a very shy quiet person (unless you knew me) I would try and not wear a sweater but then I would shake and shiver ALL DAY at school... so in my young age I decided it was just better to cover up... because I was a cheerleader I had a cheer hoodie.... and I wore that thing until it was practically a T-shirt... True story there are pics in the yearbook with me and my sweater (hair in ponytail... but that's another story for another post) Anyways ... FINALLY around my junior year of high school I discovered that I DID care what I was wearring and that there were much cuter jackets that I could be wearing... SHOCKING I know....so anyways I've still always been obsessed with hoodies or sweaters or anything warm.....I have been wearing the same 2 jackets from Hollister for about 2 years (lets face it they make the best sweaters) THEN..... Rachel and I were walking around Wal-Mart and we saw a whole section dedicated to all things Coca-Cola !!!! Naturally, COKE being my favorite thing next to Audrey Hepburn, and tied equally to Barbie, WE RUSHED OVER (or should I say I rushed over) started to look, they had the usual mugs, Christmas shaped Coke bottles, the Vintage glass bottles, t-shirts.. and then I saw it.... It was GRAY, It was SOFT, It was COKE, and it was a SWEATER!!!!!! naturally, I started searching for my size.... Alas they only had MEN sizes... and the smallest they had was Medium..... I made an executive decision... said WHAT THE HECK and bought it! (It was only like 12 dollars) then... once we got home... I put it on.. HEAVEN I'm in HEAVEN! I seriously LOVE it! I have slept in it for about a week and I've put it on every night after I get home. Its almost weird... not yet though..... the second I start wearing it under my work jackets will when it becomes a problem... So yes.. I am able to write an entire fully enthusiastic blog post about a simple Sweater.... But seriously... what could be better?! ITS LIKE THIS... BUT GRAY with RED Writing! :) JOY!!!!!!

I LOVE A GOOD SWEATER!

Umm.... I wish I was rich, lived in an alternate world, and different time...

SO Rachel and I have been on a series watching kick... we had no shows to watch on Monday night... THUS we started to watch GOSSIP GIRL from the 1st season on Netflicks..... and oh boy are we hooked!!!! We have watched about 4 episodes a night and simply can't get enough.... in one of last nights episode these "Wealthy, Upper East Siders of New York" threw a ball... a MASQUERADE BALL... basically Rach and I started to discuss how fun it would be to go to a Masked ball!!!... I told her we should throw one... she simply laughed... then I thought of 3 very valid reasons why we CAN'T...
#1 We don't have enough friends... NOT we don't have ANY friends.. we don't have ENOUGH friends.... we would never be able to throw a ball because we don't know anyone...
#2..... People here.. would think its VERY DUMB..... bunch of joy-kills...
#3  We just happen to be Poor....
YUP that pretty much sums it up. So anyways this is another one of those times when I wish I was an aristocrat in Paris during the times of Marie Antoinette, OR a courtier in the days of the Tudors.... Course I'd rather not lose my head and since they were very fond of that in BOTH of those Era's I guess I'll just settle for the days of showering everyday, Ipods, equal rights, and all that BORING stuff  : P

BUT doesn't this look so fun?!!! Would YOU come to my Ball?! LOL

IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR!!

Okay Folks, it's OFFICIALLY CHRISTMAS TIME! It's December 1st. Meaning I can talk about Christmas as much as I want! Although I've been talking about it and singing songs for weeks now I can scream it at the top of my lungs! "IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME" --- it may or may not sound like Jack Skellington form Nightmare before Christmas.... a lil deranged and psychotic.. but that's just how much I LOVE Christmas!!! :) and what better way is there to kick off the Christmas season than by putting up Christmas lights and THEN..... THE NUTCRACKER BALLET!!! That's right folks! I bought Rachel and I tickets to THE NUTCRACKER.. I'm so excited I can't even stand it! My family used to go to the one in Albuquerque a lot when I was younger, I always loved it! Such beautiful music combined with beautiful dancing!! EVEN THOUGH I severely over payed for these tickets that were a random impulse buy, and Even though I'm not expecting it to be anything like the Moscow ballet (In my dreams LOL) I'm still really excited and can't wait!! So excited!!!

ANYWAYS.. Yes, I'm very very excited for the Christmas season... (Not the HOLIDAY season : P)

I basically can't WAIT to go home!! Although once again this year is the year that my Little Big Sister Lisette gets to go with her in laws for Christmas.... BOO!!!!!!  : P it's absolutely depressing!!! practically a TRAGEDY!! what an I supposed to do without her? Christmas just doesn't feel like Christmas without ALL my family.  I hope someday that we will be able to live closer and see each other more. I started to realize that I pretty much only see my sister a few times a year and I really want that change. THUS I've decided that She and her husband need to move closer to the equator hahahahaha I am not moving any further north than the top border of AZ/NM haha

Also Christmas Time means its getting time to decide what song Stevie and I should do our annual Christmas dance to... hmm so many options.. I think she is pushing for Beiber.... alas it is supposed to be a silly dance.. If anybody knows of an upbeat silly Christmas song that we can dance to let me know!: P

Well anyways I LOVE CHRISTMAS--- I LOVE THE NUTCRACKER---I LOVE CHRIST! and let me just leave you off with a quote :)

President Thomas S. Monson has said: “For a few moments, may we set aside the catalogs of Christmas, with their gifts of exotic description. Let’s even turn from the flowers for Mother, the special tie for Father, the cute doll, the train that whistles, the long-awaited bicycle—even the books and videos—and direct our thoughts to God-given gifts that endure.”

^{AND THIS!!}

“For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace” Isaiah 9:6