Pinterest

I used to spend hours on Blogspot. Like I seriously sat and read every cute little blog with creative DIY crafts that I love.---- THEN CAME PINTEREST. I know I'm a little behind because its been around and I just barely joined last week. BUT in one week I have become a full blown ADDICT. It's become a problem because I don't even want to look at other blogs. And worst of all.
I.am.a.failure.
Pinterest has lowered my self esteem. I sit there and I look at how cute and how creative everybody else in the world is and sure it gives me cute ideas... but then I remember that I:
A: Work too much
B: Watch TV too much
C: Am too Lazy
and
D: Am not talented enough

To do all these wonderful crafts. Granted I work an 8-5 job which is an hour away so TECHNICALLY its an 6:50am- 6:00pm job... then by the time I eat and chill for a bit.... it gets to be around 9 and then Around 9 I get extremely lazy and want to do absolutely nothing.
I've decided its a serious disease and I travel so much that Saturdays aren't really an option.

I want to be crafty. Why can't I just push a crafty button and WHAMMY. Become one of all the other amazing Super Crafty Mormon Girls?!

I'll tell you why. Because when my mom was pregnant with my older sister, my older sister decided to suck out all of my moms craftiness. (My mom is like super crafty creative) My Sister stole all of my moms craftiness and what was left went to my younger sister. I have the craftiness of my father. (When he taught a primary lesson all the little kids laughed at his stick figures... True story)

So I blame my older sister for my lack of Craftiness... Greedy little Demon.
LOOK A PYGMY GOAT!!! :)

The Stings of being an Adult...

I'm going home this weekend to visit my family. I am SO excited! I haven't been home in almost 2 months. Thats a really long time for me!!! As I am talking to my mom today she is telling me that someone will be staying at my house this weekend. (Long Story Short: She is a new lady that works with my dad and hasn't found a place to live yet so she stays with us on the weekends that she works.... I'm convinced that this is a very strange thing and needs to be corrected immediately.. apparently my parents think its normal... weirdo's.) ANYWAYS I causually asked which room she was going to be staying in.... and all of a sudden my mother tell me of all these GRAND things she has done to my house. (yes, MY house) She moved all of my older sisters old furniture into my little sisters old room and made it into a guest room and turned my older sisters room into a "sewing room" BAH! So through most of all my mothers house changing things my room has usually gone untouched. Yes, Stevie was gone less than a month and my mom had the entire room re-done and everything.. muahahah but me I've been gone for almost 5 years now and my room has not been disturbed. You may be wondering why, well in order for me to tell you I shall have to go back in time a little bit... PICTURE THIS:

I am a quirky, spaztic, hyper little 12ish year old girl and I want to re-do my room... PINK! HOT PINK! and me being the rather "convincing" thing I am.. I get to do it.. so my room is light pink on top and HOT PINK on bottom... its beautiful if you can imagine ;) anyways my mother is a huge barbie collector. Her ENTIRE top of her closet is full of barbies, and so is all me and my sisters closets. This works because my room has always been "The Barbie room" thus it usually was untouched and yes it is still pink and everything. I love going home and looking at my room. It pretty much looks the exact same way it did in High school minus the fact that there is now a beat up old treadmill and a few things that dont belong me. ALL my prom and homecoming dresses are in the closet along with my sisters, my old easy bake oven, and pictures and memories GALORE! I refused to let my mother throw my stuff away without me being there becuase "IT ALL HAS MEANING!" or so I like to think. Yes, I even have my corsages from highschool. My room is a shrine to everything that I miss about life, the simplicity. all the different things I used to do in my room while I was by myself, pretend like I was a secretary at my desk, spend entire summers reading or play "The Sims" (there's just something about being able to control other peoples lives) Sometimes I would get so caught up in my room during the summer my mother wouldn't see me unless I was getting food out of the kitchen, So anyways back to the point of this post. THEN CAME HORROR!

I can't stay in my own room this weekend becuase it doesn't have a DAMN BED!? No bed?! where in the crap am I supposed to stay? Then she tells me that she moved the bed into the "sewing" room. WHY?! there is not reason for that! I told her I insist that she move it back into my room and she dared to laugh at me and say "yeah, me and my nubbies will get right on that" I told her "oh sure, make me feel bad because YOU have NO LEGS!" ahah rude!! (this is a common fight and I always tell her she can't use that as an excuse its just not healthy : P) So anyways I've finally felt the sting of being an adult and realizing that I will NEVER move back home, and that my room is no longer MY ROOM it is NOW and soon to be my mothers barbie room and I won't get to sleep there anymore! What kind of heartless mother rips out someones entire childhood with one gesture such as pointlessly removing a bed? I'll tell you who. MINE! Anyways don't ask me why I'm so upset about this. Maybe its becuase my parents have also made side comments about moving and I basically will have a heart attack if they EVER move out of MY house! I don't want to come visit them in some random house I want to visit them in MY house. SHEESH! is it too much to ask for them to just stay put and be satisfied?! anyways my house is gorgeous! SEE ABOVE!!!(My rooms the one with the three windows) :) :) :) Can't wait to go home, EVEN IF I CAN'T SLEEP IN MY ROOM! RUDE!

Too Much...

I complain too much. I've realized this and I decided that I make it sound like I don't have amazing things going on in my life. So here are the AMAZING things!!! :)

Amazing thing Number 1

I have an AMAZING FAMILY! like absolutely amazing! I talk to my mom about 3 times a day usually and basically I just talk to her about myself, and she tells me about herself. We are fully informed in each others lives. Its a great feeling to know that anytime I need to call and complain about anything my mom is always going to be there to let me vent. (however she's no fun because once she throws in her life issues mine seem like nothing : P) My Dad is basically the most amazing man ever and I will never meet anyone as patient and  level headed as him! My older sister is a Saint. Enough said. She can do no wrong in my eyes, and when she does... it really isn't her fault. :) lol My lil sister is not a saint, but she is more like me than I realize. She and I are two lil hoochies and we love every bit of it! :) I love my family, they are my rock and I know that they will love me and do anything for me!! Along with Family comes my Cousins! I don't think I ever REALLY express how AMAZING my childhood was because I grew up with the best cousins in the world. they are so funny and we all accept each other just as we are without having to worry about when the next time we are going to be able to see each other because we know when we do it will be just like old times! :) Full of singing Disney songs, playing Piggly Wiggly, eating in "The HHHUT" building "The CLUB" (I wish I could pronounce those out loud for you all) playing barbies, house, and basically just laughing at everything because we know we are the funniest people alive. :)

Number 2... My Friends are AMAZING!!!!! AMAZING! whether its friends from childhood, high school, college or present day I have the best friends ever that in one way or another have made me who I am today and helped me through all the trials in my life. Not only do I have amazing Friends, But I have amazing cousins, who happen to be in the FRIENDS category also! They are  my best friends Also. My Cousin Tanith is such an awesome example to me of how it is to be happy and joyous through out her whole life. She is such a sweet person and I only wish I could be more like her. My cousin Whitney is so fun and talented she knows exactly what she likes and she's not afraid to say no and do what she wants to, not what people think she should want to do. My roommate Rachel. She and I can tell each other anything, and we still know that at the end of the day, Agree or Disagree, we are Still the Bestest of Friends! Our friendship has really grown the past year and it continues to get stronger. We have helped each other through trial after trial. We can sit there and stress out with each other and then laugh with each other. I know I can tell her anything and she will give me her honest opinion, She doesn't feed me with what I WANT to hear, she tells me how she see's it. I APPRECIATE that! :) it means more to me that she CARES than just trying to appease me with thoughtless comments to make me feel better or make me happy. I love the lil hooker to death and we can sit and just laugh at the stupid things we say and know that it is all out of love!!! :)

Now that I have made those shout outs, Here is some random stuff that I love in my life.
My apartment. Minus the fact that the office people suck, I really do LOVE my Room, and My closet. I love out pretty lil Kitchen and out comfy lil couch. I also love our lil TV even though it is NOT 'HD' as has been pointed out to me MULTIPLE times!! (you know who you are! LOL)
I have been working really hard on keeping my room clean and even though I have been slacking on making my bed in the morning I cleaned it this weekend and plan on getting to my bathroom TONIGHT! :)
I also love having a Costa Vida right down the street. and will miss it THOROUGHLY when Rachel and I move in October. Le Sigh. (I wrote this a while ago, Rachel and I ahve already moved out and luckily soon Costa Vida will be just as close as it was before! woot woot!!!)

I love having my own money and supporting myself. GRANTED my parents still pitch in every now and then and take care of my major bills. HOWEVER I am working on being  FULL adult haha I love being able to buy myself some shoes when I feel like it because I CAN. and IT'S MY MONEY! woo hoo that's probably the best. I definitely go overboard when it comes to shoes and I don't wear half of the ones I buy. But they are so pretty and they make me happy. THUS that's all that matters.

ANYWAYS HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY FRIDAY!!! POSITIVE THINKING!!!!!!!!!!! I love LIFE! I LOVE FAMILY! I LOVE FRIENDS!!!! Then END!! :)

Looks Goats in a TREE!  

Better!

aaaaaahhhh....... Stress Relief. No I don't have my money back in my account. No I haven't ffigured out how to cure cancer. and No I still have every single weird problem that has brought me stress before. HOWEVER, I have given in. No not given UP, Given in. I have given in to the fact that I am unable to control the outcome of things. I can only control how I react to them. Sure I can have the attitude that "Everything happens to me!" or "I'm doing what I should, Why is this happening?!" or my favorite excuse of a mental breakdown "I do all this stuff for other people why doesn't my stuff just take care of itself?!" Ha yes I am was once upon a time the queen of going along with what everybody else wants and doing what everybody else tells me to do or think or say. I kind of became a "follower" GASP! and Maybe I've always been one. I've always been the friend that was "Down for whatever" but in the past few months I have been having a constant battle with asking myself "Do I want to?" Sure it may sound selfish and people can say "Not everything is about YOU!" and yes I agree its not. But my Happiness is about me isn't it? And doesn't what I do and say reflect onto me? My ANSWER is: YES, YES IT DOES!!!!!!!!! So maybe I don't always make the best decisions for myself or maybe the way I want to do something is the "hard" or "stupid" way. But it makes sense to me. And shouldn't things make sense to you?! ANSWER is: YES, YES IT SHOULD!!!!  So Now I'm working on REALLY deciding if I want to do something, or say something, or go somewhere. I have decided to stop and think before I answer. {shocking idea right?! ;)} BUT seriously! now I understand why parents are always saying "I'll think about it" its not just because they don't want to disappoint you right away! (okay maybe sometimes it is :P) It's because they really do want to take the time to decide. I've decided to instead of being the Queen of "Yea, SURE, WHY NOT!" Instead to be the Queen of "I'll Think about it, But Probably" I really hate to disappoint people so if its a good idea and something that I WANT to do and can AFFORD to do. I will.
HA I like when I have these lil blasts of self-empowerment.
They feel good! LOL anyways I just want to get to the point where I'm happy with everything I do and EVERY choice I make. (yes, I do live in a fantasy world where everything should be happy) BUT isn't that the point?! HAPPINESS?! And I'm not talking the "Do whatever makes you Happy" crap or the "Hey you do your thing it doesn't matter" because it DOES matter. It matters a lot. You can't just walk around doing EVERYTHING for your self, stepping on whoever on your way? and you can't just participate in activities that you want. SURE i guess you technically CAN but lets all be prepared for the outcome and consequences. For the past few years I've been on this "Oh yeah, I'll do what I want because I think its fun and I don't care what people think because I'm just gonna do me" let me just tell you how that worked out for me, or should I say how it DIDN'T work out for me.
I lost my self-esteem. and A lot of it. I lost my self-worth. My life was FULL of drama and stress and other issues that weren't even worth the pain and mental anxiety. Now I'm not saying that the past few years have been absolutely TERRIBLE! on the contrary I have the best friends! I have people who truly love and care about me, and I have done things and gone places that were SO FUN!
HOWEVER recently I have been on the path of SELF RECOVERY. and I love it. I pray daily and allow myself to stop and think about the decision that I want to make. I feel the guiding hand of my Father in Heaven and it helps remember why I get to ENJOY this life! And to enjoy it in POSITIVE and UPLIFTING manner!! It makes me feel good about myself knowing that I have not disappointed myself and that in fact I am PROUD of who I am working on being!

Wow. This is probably the longest most boring post I have ever written. HA lets find something fun!

Did you know that there are goats that can Climb Trees?! FACT! It was on YAHOO! news! BOOM. HILARIOUS!

This one was My FAVORITE!!!!!!! :)

I wear Suits.

This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of Express for SocialSpark. All opinions are 100% mine.

So At my work I have to wear a FULL business suit EVERY DAY. I really don't mind it TOO much but it just gets to the pint where I feel like I am wearring the same clothes over and over! So I am constantly looking for new suits! This as you may imagine can be very expensive and gets old after a while. Thus I am always looking for new and cuter ways to dress, while staying with my work dress code. Now here's my issue, I kind of have ridiculous long legs for my size and can hardly ever find some with the waists my size with the length I need. Then I ordered my first pants from EXPRESS. (insert choir singing HALLELUJAH here) They were great! Then I got a jacket and its even better nice and form fitting but not too tight! I love them! Check them out HERE---->women's suits! and the pants are so comfy I don't mind staying in them after I get home!

And GUESS WHAT I FOUND?!

A chance for YOU to win a $500 Suiting Makeover from EXPRESS!!!

CLICK HERE! --->Express sweepstakes

Anyways I love Express Suits! The studio pant is my FAV! Do you where suits? do you love them?

 

Express EXPRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

T.G.I.F.

This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of T.G.I. FRiDAY'S for SocialSpark. All opinions are 100% mine.

No, NO. I know what you're thinking "Is she Crazy its not Friday?!" to that I reply, you are correct but its MY Friday! That's Right I don't have work tomorrow. Instead of working I plan on moving ALL day on Friday. and speaking of work I don't eat lunch. I go through phases where I will bring something like cheese sticks or I'll order for a delivery but when I have no money instead of trying to pack a lunch from what little we have at home I choose to simple not eat. BAD idea. VERY BAD IDEA.

So As I was browsing through the grocery store the other day I saw these TGIF "Entrees for One. And they looked DELICIOUS!!!

I mean Chicken and broccoli Alfredo, Sizzling Chicken Fajitas and my personal FAVORITE Sesame Orange Chicken. Oh boy I almost opened them right there and started to eat.. had they not been frozen I might have! :P

T.G.I. FRiDAY’S “Entrées for One”

So I looked up all the different kinds and such and I'm totally getting them the next time I'm not psychotically poor from the Stupid Bank as I posted below. My Dad said that he also has FULLY enjoyed these!!!

THEN I SAW THIS ------>Fun Freezer contest

And it looked fun! So check it out and VOTE!!!

Mental Breakdown Day.

Today. Is. Mental. Breakdown. Day.

I've been dealing with a lot of stress lately. Stress that I keep hidden deep in this dark place that I have created in my brain. I'm stressed over lots of little things.  Deep things that will make me sound crazy if I say them out loud so I prefer to keep them to myself. One thing I WOULD like to rant about is how awful Wells Fargo Customer service is. That's right I'm putting Wells Fargo Bank on BLAST right now. Well correction one girl was as helpful as she could be. She knows me Dad so she helped me out as much as she could. BUT let me back track and explain the story.
So I have been looking into getting a CREDIT card to build up my CREDIT.
Wells Fargo is my bank so I thought its only natural that I should go through them. (hhmph)
So I look it up, there's one that is a CREDIT BUILDING CREDIT CARD.
*INTERRUPTION*** granted this entire thing it all could have never happened if I'd read the FINE (very fine) print.
ANYWAYS , I get approved! I'm thinking "Woo HOO" my first credit card" it asks me to set what limit I would like and since I'm not planning on using it for anything big I decide $400 should be good right?
THEN it says they will be sending me my card in the mail and blah blah blah. I get an $18 charge to start the card, I'm thinking no big deal most cards have annual fees.

So I'm all excited living my life.... then this morning I get an e-mail from my dad saying my account is majorly overdrawn and I might want to check it out, I'm thinking... THERE'S NO WAY. I had at LEAST 200 dollars left in my account and I haven't bought anything but JIMMY JOHNS (which I LOVE)
So I go and look and sure enough I'm over drawn... NOT only am I overdrawn... BUT ITS overdrawn $301!!!!
So naturally the first thing I think is " WHAT THE F!!!!!" so then I look have a freak out and see that Wells Fargo took out $400 from my account to put into a "SECURE CREDIT ACCOUNT" MEANING they over drafted my other account to put money in my "Credit" account. Now here's how this 'SECURE' account works and it prolly is a good idea (If you're aware that its you're own money that becomes the "credit"). You put a certain amount above $300 on a card and you use it as a credit card and as long as you pay it back monthly and keep that 400 in there, THEN in 6 months to a year you will qualify for basically ANY credit card. Sounds nice right?
HOWEVER I thought I was signing up for a regular CREDIT CARD. If I had known I would be spending my own money I wouldn't have done it. So then I'm on the phone with everyone and their dog at wells fargo and the guy says well I can give you a cash Advance, but we charge you 1.50 for every 20 dollars we put in your account plus interest on how long it takes you to pay it back. So Since I didn't want to PAY to have money put in my account that I shouldn't have lost in the first place I said no. So I put in a claim and he starts getting really rude. Now, shockingly I have remained very calm and polite through everything that he has been telling me. Then he starts asking me questions for my claim. "I'm going to ask you a few questions and if you can answer in a yes or no that would be great" I said " okay" He asks " Did you apply for the account" ME: "Yes, but I didn't know..." I'm interrupted by him when he says "Yes Or No, will be fine" (RUDE!!!!!!!!) so I say "yes." he asks " Did you authorize the account?" Me: "Yes, but once again I wasn't aware that it would be MY money used for the credit" he says :" So yes?" Me: "Yes." (starting to get REAL angry) He asked a few more questions and when he was done he said " Well, judging by your answer, you authorized the account, paid the 18 dollar fee and applied for it, SO I don't think this claim is going to do you much good." Me: "So what do you suggest I do?" He says "Well I can connect you to the credit card department"  I say "Okay" I get connected to the credit department where the girl has a horrendous accent that I can't understand and basically she tells me that what she can do for me is cancel my account and put the money back in there, however there is still a chance that it MIGHT affect my credit score. So by this time because I can't handle people telling me they cant do anything for me and I just REALLY need that money back in my account I say to myself screw the credit score and I ask her POLITELY to simply cancel the account. She cancels it.. THEN, THEN informs me that it will take about 45-60 days to show up back in my account. Now at this point I've basically lost my mind and mentally broken down. She asks if that's all she can do for me and I say "CLEARLY." and hang up. So here I am 300-ISH dollars over drafted with $35 dollar overdraft fees and about 4 more come by tomorrow and I'M basically F-ed. Yup that's right. I'm broke. So basically all this is going to suck up about half of my paycheck on Friday. then I have student loans I'm supposed to pay, along with so much more that my head is basically at the point of explosion.
Thus today became MENTAL.BREAKDOWN. DAY.
And I cried in the bathroom. And I plan on crying the whole way home.