Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Elevator Etiquette

So as we all know Elevator rides can get kinda awkward. I mean you're in a metal box that goes up and down with complete and total strangers. Now there are those people that absolutely HAVE to talk during an elevator ride, or there are those people that will NOT make eye contact, for that matter will not even acknowledge the fact that there is even another person sharing the small metal box with you.
I work on the 7th floor of my building. Naturally I ride the elevator multiple times a day because lets face it 7 flights of stairs is just Ridiculous! SO I have come up with some Elevator Etiquette!

Rule # 1 When you are waiting for an elevator, DO NOT automatically assume that the elevator is going to be empty when the doors open. Rushing in when someone is trying to Rush out is not only Rude, but Awkward. Trying to dodge and see which side they are going to try and rush through is a very difficult task.

Rule # 2 When the elevator look even Mildly crowded. PLEASE for the love of God, DO NOT try and squeeze yourself in. Another elevator will come soon I promise. No need to test the weight limit.

Rule # 3 Gentlemen: When you are in an elevator with even just ONE Lady it is PROPER to let her off the elevator before you. I mean really lets show some Chivalry!

Rule # 4 When you see someone coming up or you hear someone say "Hold the elevator!" HOLD THE DAMN ELEVATOR?! True Story I was going down and I'm just chillin in the elevator and it stops some lady comes in and then we hear someone say "Hold the elevator Please!" Now I was in the back of the elevator and this other woman was up close by the doors. However instead of simply putting her arm out and stopping the elevator the lady pushes the "door close" button instead. Then she turns to me and smiles. I was like.. um. RUDE! I mean really it would have slowed us up a total of 2 seconds to hold the elevator. Common Courtesy people. Look it up!

Rule # 5 When you see someone holding a very large box, or Maybe a grip load of mail and they are small and easily struggling to carry the entire box.... It MIGHT, MAYBE be a nice gesture to ask them which floor they need INSTEAD of watching them struggle to push the correct floor. True Story. so in unintentional revenge I ended up hitting about 4 of the wrong floors with my elbow. See how he liked THAT! :P

Rule # 6 I know how awkward it can be to be in the elevator with a stranger but seriously. If Someone smiles at you.. SMILE BACK! if someone says Hello, you say it BACK!.... oh and If you're wearing a Blue tooth and you say hello to the person on your ear, and the other person in general view says Hello to you... It is unnecessary to Glare rudely at them. Join the real world and take the damn thing off you're ear.

Rule # 7 You're in an Elevator. You're going to lose service. There is no need to shout and curse if you lose a call. Kicking the side of the elevator will also not bring service back to your cell. In Fact, the only thing it will succeed in doing is making you look like an Idiot. (True Story)

So there you have it. My Lucky 7 Elevator Etiquette Rules. Read them and Learn them. They will help make not only your life easier but the lives of others all around you easier.
-Aubs

P.S. Person releasing gas right before you get off the elevator, so that the next person on is stuck in your stench. You disgust me.