Hello, My Name is Aubry, and I Gossip.
So I've been thinking about writing this post a lot lately, but I didn't know how to start and how I would stop myself from rambling and making excuses. So here it is. I will approach this blog about gossip as an addiction.
Frankly, Gossip is an addiction, its a learned habit that is truly hard to get out of your life.
I have so many wonderful friends, and yet there probably isn't a single one that I haven't gossiped about and when I think about it, that's truly sad and pathetic.
I also highly doubt that there are very many of my friends who haven't gossiped about me as well.
So where does it start? and Why do we do it?
"Girl Talk" has been apart of my life as long as I can remember, to our closest friends we call it "Venting" which is where we are simply "frustrated" with someone, therefore we talk to our other friends in order to make us feel better and we usually end the conversation by both saying "I'm sorry I was just frustrated..." and then we go on to say a few nice things about the person in question in order to make us feel dignified in our conversation. ("... bless her heart." OR "... but she's nice..")
It's truly sad, and yet I think all girls can relate to the above situation.
We hear it from our mothers, from our sisters, and friends. Girls are constantly talking about other girls. usually masked in a fake compliment afterwards.
Once you start to realize how much girls talk about each other, you start to stop trusting and then feel the need to build yourself up by tearing each other down.
So for me personally, I have decided that as a grown woman (weird right?! does being 25 almost 26 make you a woman?!)
I am DONE Gossiping.
How am I going to do this?..... I HAVE NO IDEA... But what I do know is that I'm am NOT going to hurt another friends feelings, when in a time of frustration I said something I knew would hurt them. No more will I feel that guilt because I truly love all my friends and we should all remember that we are SISTERS, and each of us is a Daughter of God.
First things First. The Steps to Quit Gossiping:
#1- THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK- We need to all ask ourselves.. Would I say this if they were hear to listen?- NINE TIMES OUT OF TEN, the simple answer is NO. No I would not. Therefore Don't say it. harder than it sounds but it really is the first step at eliminating gossip from your life.
#2- WHY? Why are you saying this about them? Are you upset? Frustrated? Annoyed? Jealous?- Stop, stop talking and spewing word vomit before you say something that you truly will regret in the long run.
#4- Talk to EACH OTHER, Not about.-I honestly can't count the times in my life where there could have been little or NO DRAMA if I just had the guts to tell people when they've upset me or hurt my feelings. In ANY relationship- Relationship is key. This is not any different in a friendship. It's okay to talk, and its okay to not have so much silly pride that you can't accept that maybe something you said could have hurt someone else, whether you meant it or not, joking included. We shouldn't tell one another that they are being "dramatic" or "sensitive". We should respect each other enough to be able to say 2 simple words... "I'm Sorry"
And last but not least....
#5- Be KIND.- It's not hard to stand up for someone even when they aren't there. It's not hard to hold your tongue when you're about to say something negative regarding another person. It is NOT HARD. Really! I promise once you get into the habit of LOVING EVERYONE-- not only will you stop seeing the bad, but you will also feel better about yourself! Crazy how that works! :)
So I've been thinking about writing this post a lot lately, but I didn't know how to start and how I would stop myself from rambling and making excuses. So here it is. I will approach this blog about gossip as an addiction.
Frankly, Gossip is an addiction, its a learned habit that is truly hard to get out of your life.
I have so many wonderful friends, and yet there probably isn't a single one that I haven't gossiped about and when I think about it, that's truly sad and pathetic.
I also highly doubt that there are very many of my friends who haven't gossiped about me as well.
So where does it start? and Why do we do it?
"Girl Talk" has been apart of my life as long as I can remember, to our closest friends we call it "Venting" which is where we are simply "frustrated" with someone, therefore we talk to our other friends in order to make us feel better and we usually end the conversation by both saying "I'm sorry I was just frustrated..." and then we go on to say a few nice things about the person in question in order to make us feel dignified in our conversation. ("... bless her heart." OR "... but she's nice..")
It's truly sad, and yet I think all girls can relate to the above situation.
We hear it from our mothers, from our sisters, and friends. Girls are constantly talking about other girls. usually masked in a fake compliment afterwards.
Once you start to realize how much girls talk about each other, you start to stop trusting and then feel the need to build yourself up by tearing each other down.
So for me personally, I have decided that as a grown woman (weird right?! does being 25 almost 26 make you a woman?!)
I am DONE Gossiping.
How am I going to do this?..... I HAVE NO IDEA... But what I do know is that I'm am NOT going to hurt another friends feelings, when in a time of frustration I said something I knew would hurt them. No more will I feel that guilt because I truly love all my friends and we should all remember that we are SISTERS, and each of us is a Daughter of God.
First things First. The Steps to Quit Gossiping:
#1- THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK- We need to all ask ourselves.. Would I say this if they were hear to listen?- NINE TIMES OUT OF TEN, the simple answer is NO. No I would not. Therefore Don't say it. harder than it sounds but it really is the first step at eliminating gossip from your life.
#2- WHY? Why are you saying this about them? Are you upset? Frustrated? Annoyed? Jealous?- Stop, stop talking and spewing word vomit before you say something that you truly will regret in the long run.
#3 Choose your Friends Wisely- During "The Dark Ages" or formally known as "Middle School" I went through quite a horrendous stage. To this day I truly don't enjoy even thinking about middle school because of how low my self esteem was. Girls are mean and its scary to wonder if you're going to have someone to sit with at lunch, or walk in the halls with. I had plenty of those days and they were days when I truly didn't understand why girls were mean. Mostly I was unfamiliar with the "Mean Girls" world because until middle school my only friends had been my cousins. I grew a shell and decided that it was either eat or be eaten. So I began to rely on my sarcasm, and I relied on that in place of true self-esteem, I faked it, every day feeling less and less as I tried to cover it up with sarcasm.- In High School I was able to find awesome friends and luckily my cousins and I were re-united, I didn't have to have girl drama because I didn't let anyone in that would cause it. (besides Cheerleading, but that's a whole other story : P) Then came college, a whole new world of Girls and therefore a whole new world of gossip. I believed everything my new friends said about each other because I didn't know any differently. (Call me Naïve, but I didn't think they would lie? why would they....) It wasn't until my 3rd year of college that I finally got it. (slow learner right?!) All our fights and hate towards one another started with GOSSIP.- That turned into a long story that could have been short. My main point is, be careful. If they gossip about others, they most definitely Gossip about you. (see below)
#4- Talk to EACH OTHER, Not about.-I honestly can't count the times in my life where there could have been little or NO DRAMA if I just had the guts to tell people when they've upset me or hurt my feelings. In ANY relationship- Relationship is key. This is not any different in a friendship. It's okay to talk, and its okay to not have so much silly pride that you can't accept that maybe something you said could have hurt someone else, whether you meant it or not, joking included. We shouldn't tell one another that they are being "dramatic" or "sensitive". We should respect each other enough to be able to say 2 simple words... "I'm Sorry"
And last but not least....
Well, That's all for this post. I guess in ending I just want to say to any one that I have talked about or hurt your feelings. I am sorry. Bad Habits are easy to form, and hard to break. I love all my friends so much and I look up to so many of you! We as women have a divine purpose, and it's not to bring each other down and bicker. It is to LOVE AND NURTURE, not just our families, but to ALL and EVERYONE! :)
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