ME?

Today has been a day of "Reflection" HA. Seriously though, I've been looking through old pictures, Pictures of who I was when I was a Kid, Pictures of who I grew to be in High School, Then came the College years, the "Finding Me" years, and Now I am contemplating who I am NOW, RIGHT THIS VERY MOMENT. :)
I was a wild child. Full of energy and loudness and excitement. I was thrilled for everything! My cousins have family videos of me on family vacation acting like a total lunatic. (literally, why they never tested me for A.D.D. I'll never understand) I was also the "Ring Leader" of me and my two cousins. I truly believe Whitney and Tanith might have followed me off a cliff If I had told them to :) I was always making up stupid games and even dumber rules to those games, but they always played along and stayed by my side. To this day when we finally get together we are the Three Amigos again and it's like time has never changed.
Then came the middle schools years, I'm being completely and fully honest when I say this. I got ugly. I don't know what happened or why I became such a tragic looking child but I did and I also became very shy. Not around family, my family could never guess that some days going to school knowing that my one friend wasn't going to be there was absolute horror. But everyone has their awkward middle school years. 
High School. Eh. I got better looking, once my braces were gone, and I joined the cheer team I got a little more outgoing but I was still more the girl that simply went to her classes, passed her classes, and didn't mind if you copied her. HAHA that was my freshman and sophomore year in a nutshell. By my Junior year I finally had my true Best Friends (Brenna, Cherisa, Breanna, Rachel) and of course my Faithful Best Cousin Friends. I was part of "The Mormon" group in my school and I fit in like a glove :)
Needless to say I was rather naive, but not without my imperfections.
College- This is when I really began to realize how "innocent" I truly was. I think I was very oblivious to the things that were going on around me, I had never dealt with "Drama"- But I sure got my fill. College wasn't All bad and in fact I made some of my very best friends, and MOST IMPORTANTLY this is where I met my current Best Friend (RACHEL MICHELLE TAYLOR!!!!!) So I changed a lot in the college years, grew into almost a completely new person. I was still "ME" per say, but I was different, independence and being 7 hours from any form of family can do that to a person.
There was a small Blip in my life that consisted of moving back home for my mom, working at one of my favorite places ever, and being in a total rut. It was not fun living at home again without any of your friends. So I then moved down to Mesa, and attended Massage Therapy School. Now. During this blip in my life, I got lost. I was already technically not doing what was right, BUT I was REALLY lost. My entire outlook on life was changed and I could feel the sense of hopelessness growing everyday. I guess you can say that the theme of my life was "YOLO" (stupid.)......
FAST FORWARD- through a lot of different circumstances I find myself where I am today. DIFFERENT. Happier. I am still searching for all the things that life can give, but I'm searching for the RIGHT things, the GOOD things. I don't want EVERYTHING in life. We weren't meant to have EVERYTHING. Just the Good things that we NEED. So where as the Lord may send certain trials to certain people. He knows, which ones are meant for me and he is going to give me the ones I can handle. So Basically... I like Me. I've always liked me, but I guess what I SHOULD say, is I'm PROUD of the "ME" that I am today, and I hope that I can only grow into an even BETTER ME! :)

Maturity

I am SO Mature these days. HAHA JUST KIDDING! but I guess instead of saying I'm mature I can honestly say that I am an adult. HAHA without getting into too much detail I'd just like to say that I was able to look at a situation this week, make the adult mature decision. and Then I started to think of the decision I WOULD have made even just a year ago. and THEN I felt so.... well in the words of my very best friend "CHANGED"  and only in a positive way. I am able to say that I am so happy with me, and my decisions in life.
It feels good! :)
SO for an update, I have been just sooo BUSY, I have a new co-worker and she is real nice but super into the "Regus" way of doing things, So I'm learning a lot but I have hardly any time for my Blogging and my Pinteresting?! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA
My personal life is on the ups as well But THAT will have to wait for another post another time! :)

I miss my family! I haven't been home in a while and I think its about that time to see my mommy and daddy!!!
Not to mention my beloved lil puppy!

ABC, Not quite as Easy as 123....

SO! I was reading a recent message from the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints- By President Thomas S. Monson. You can read it HERE! Any ways I really like it. He is basically giving us guidance on how to make this New Year an "abundant" one. The three ABC's are basically as follows (I picked my favorite part from each section to write)

A-ATTITUDE-We can’t direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails. For maximum happiness, peace, and contentment, may we choose a positive attitude- For me, This is SUCH a big one. I am a natural pessimist. I often find myself seeing the negative side of things. It's really hard for me to look a situation square in the face and I calmly say. "I'm going to handle you with a smile on my face" I just am not a faker. I used to be a really good faker. But these days I've opened up my emotions and all that horrible stuff so its really easy for me to just say "oh, that's too difficult" or "Welp, that sucks" and "I HATE THIS" But from here on out I am going to try and see the POSITIVE side of things. And I think that attitude isn't just about how you perceive things, but its also how you REACT to things. I'm usually a very reserved person. I think that how you react to someone or something is a HUGE reflection on you. I often find myself reacting to people I'm close to, VERY differently than how I react to people I hardly know. FOR EXAMPLE: My Mother. I LOVE my mom to death in fact I practically worship the ground she walks on. HOWEVER she has the ability to get my blood boiling faster than anyone on this earth. HOWEVER I do see how unfair that is to her. She can simply remind me of something and I will immediately get annoyed. So I need to work on my reactions towards the people that I love the most. Just because I am comfortable with them DOESN'T mean that I should be able to get angry with them and treat them badly.

B- BELIEVE (in your self)-Don’t limit yourself and don’t let others convince you that you are limited in what you can do. Believe in yourself and then live so as to reach your possibilities.- Ah, another thing that I struggle with. As I said above I am a pessimist, and that often consists of me telling myself that I can't do something because it is unrealistic, or too late. Welp as far as I'm concerned I've absolutely  WASTED the last 5 years of my life. Sure there were some awesome crowning moments, but I haven't really done anything that I am overly proud of. And why is that? It's because I tell myself I can't. So I'm stuck in a job that I don't like just because it pays well and I'm able to pay my bills. WELP no more. I'm officially "Believing" in myself and this year I'm going to try and do ALL the things I've wanted to do and never got the chance to. I'm not going to let other people affect me in my decisions although of course My decisions affect others, but My decisions can only affect people in a NEGATIVE way IF they are NEGATIVE decisions. :)

C- COURAGE-Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, “I’ll try again tomorrow.”-This meant A LOT to me. Courageous is NOT something that I would call myself. In fact I would probably make that "C" a Coward. HOWEVER , just like the Cowardly Lion, The courage that I do have will come when I least expect it. To have the courage to stand up for myself and my beliefs has been a recent thing for me. But every time I do I feel an overwhelming sense of satisfaction in myself. Courage isn't fighting a dragon, and I don't think that courage is necessarily always being the one to confront people. I think True courage is having the ability to face the day and face your own personal trials with FAITH that the Lord has your best interest's at heart.

Although they are SIMPLE, they aren't necessarily the easiest things. Those 3 things are something that comes with years of practice and hard work, and considering I've spent the past 23 years doing almost the exact opposite, Its DEFINITELY going to take me some time to master these ABC's and maybe I never will. BUT from now On I'm Trying. :)