Better!

aaaaaahhhh....... Stress Relief. No I don't have my money back in my account. No I haven't ffigured out how to cure cancer. and No I still have every single weird problem that has brought me stress before. HOWEVER, I have given in. No not given UP, Given in. I have given in to the fact that I am unable to control the outcome of things. I can only control how I react to them. Sure I can have the attitude that "Everything happens to me!" or "I'm doing what I should, Why is this happening?!" or my favorite excuse of a mental breakdown "I do all this stuff for other people why doesn't my stuff just take care of itself?!" Ha yes I am was once upon a time the queen of going along with what everybody else wants and doing what everybody else tells me to do or think or say. I kind of became a "follower" GASP! and Maybe I've always been one. I've always been the friend that was "Down for whatever" but in the past few months I have been having a constant battle with asking myself "Do I want to?" Sure it may sound selfish and people can say "Not everything is about YOU!" and yes I agree its not. But my Happiness is about me isn't it? And doesn't what I do and say reflect onto me? My ANSWER is: YES, YES IT DOES!!!!!!!!! So maybe I don't always make the best decisions for myself or maybe the way I want to do something is the "hard" or "stupid" way. But it makes sense to me. And shouldn't things make sense to you?! ANSWER is: YES, YES IT SHOULD!!!!  So Now I'm working on REALLY deciding if I want to do something, or say something, or go somewhere. I have decided to stop and think before I answer. {shocking idea right?! ;)} BUT seriously! now I understand why parents are always saying "I'll think about it" its not just because they don't want to disappoint you right away! (okay maybe sometimes it is :P) It's because they really do want to take the time to decide. I've decided to instead of being the Queen of "Yea, SURE, WHY NOT!" Instead to be the Queen of "I'll Think about it, But Probably" I really hate to disappoint people so if its a good idea and something that I WANT to do and can AFFORD to do. I will.
HA I like when I have these lil blasts of self-empowerment.
They feel good! LOL anyways I just want to get to the point where I'm happy with everything I do and EVERY choice I make. (yes, I do live in a fantasy world where everything should be happy) BUT isn't that the point?! HAPPINESS?! And I'm not talking the "Do whatever makes you Happy" crap or the "Hey you do your thing it doesn't matter" because it DOES matter. It matters a lot. You can't just walk around doing EVERYTHING for your self, stepping on whoever on your way? and you can't just participate in activities that you want. SURE i guess you technically CAN but lets all be prepared for the outcome and consequences. For the past few years I've been on this "Oh yeah, I'll do what I want because I think its fun and I don't care what people think because I'm just gonna do me" let me just tell you how that worked out for me, or should I say how it DIDN'T work out for me.
I lost my self-esteem. and A lot of it. I lost my self-worth. My life was FULL of drama and stress and other issues that weren't even worth the pain and mental anxiety. Now I'm not saying that the past few years have been absolutely TERRIBLE! on the contrary I have the best friends! I have people who truly love and care about me, and I have done things and gone places that were SO FUN!
HOWEVER recently I have been on the path of SELF RECOVERY. and I love it. I pray daily and allow myself to stop and think about the decision that I want to make. I feel the guiding hand of my Father in Heaven and it helps remember why I get to ENJOY this life! And to enjoy it in POSITIVE and UPLIFTING manner!! It makes me feel good about myself knowing that I have not disappointed myself and that in fact I am PROUD of who I am working on being!

Wow. This is probably the longest most boring post I have ever written. HA lets find something fun!

Did you know that there are goats that can Climb Trees?! FACT! It was on YAHOO! news! BOOM. HILARIOUS!

This one was My FAVORITE!!!!!!! :)